TRUTH OR DARE

Some people enjoy games, such as truth or dare. Some do not mind answering questions like “What is your biggest fear in a relationship?” Others love the adventurous nature of the “dare” side of the game, like calling up your crush and declaring your love for him/her.

I am not a fan of this game. The reason is simple. I do not trust people enough to let the warped minds of others dictate what I do. My mind can come up with enough things for me to do to get into trouble.

As far as truth is concerned, if you were worried about letting your skeletons out of the closet, you are probably not playing the game. Everyone has their secrets, and no game will force them to tell you.  

I try to tell the truth all of the time. My life is an open book. If you want to know something, ask. My wife does not always like this part of my personality. She has to be certain to remind me, “This is not for public knowledge.”

I seem to have a reputation for being honest. I remember a time when I saw a young woman I know walking out of a building with her husband. She spotted me and told her husband to wait just a moment. She came all the way across the room and asked me what I thought of her hair. I told her my opinion and then asked why she walked away from her husband just to ask me that question. Her response was that I was the only one she knew that would really tell her the truth. I thought this was a sad commentary on the people around us.

What ever happened to honesty?

All I see on social media is lies told in memes, “news stories”, and in people’s comments. It seems that people do not want the truth. They only want to believe their point of view regardless of facts. They believe all sorts of incorrect reporting but disregard the truth if it goes against what they want to believe.

Most people claiming to be open-minded are extremely close-minded unless you agree with them. No one likes to be wrong, but sometimes we are. When truth comes out against our point of view, should we not change our point of view? This depends on the source of the “truth.” Some of our sacred “credible” sources are just biased. Adding opinions and interpretations to facts can distort the truth.

People say,” do not believe everything you read (or hear).” Jokes are sarcastically told like “it was on the internet, it must be true.” Yet, people still believe every picture with added words that someone made up on the internet and every article written that coincides with their belief system.

We need to check our sources. We need to seek truth. We need to be more open-minded to the confirmed facts. Differing opinions are not always wrong. Practice telling the truth, but do so in a loving way.

I say all this, but the truth remains, “this is America (or whatever country in which you are living). You have the right to be wrong.”

TANTRUM IN A HUGE PUMPKIN

I had the pleasure of watching my 21-month-old granddaughter for four and a half days. What a great week it turned out to be. Her G-Pop and Gigi kept G-Baby busy most of the time. We took trips to the store, to restaurants, to playgrounds and to Storyland in New Orleans City Park.

She is quite an independent girl with no fear and an adventuresome spirit. She is a tough little girl. As we went through Storyland, she was mesmerized by the fountains. She loves water. She enjoyed the big dragon slide that she and her G-Pop slide down. As we stood in the mouth of Pinocchio’s whale, she gave me a high five ad a big smile.

Even though the older boy in front of her screamed in terror at the sight of the Big Bad Wolf, G-Baby scoffed knowing there was nothing to fear.  She was enjoying walking around the inside of Cinderella’s pumpkin carriage when she had a short temper tantrum because she did not want to get out and move on to the next nursery rhyme scene. When she realized we were not concerned about her tantrum she stopped and got out. If you are going to throw a tantrum, you may as well do it in a huge pumpkin. It adds a little flair, but it is only good if someone pays attention.

Unfortunately, we often do the same thing as adults. We do not get our way and decide to throw a tantrum. We may not lay on our backs and fake cry, but we have different ways of handling things. We may refuse to change even to our detriment, causing us to fall behind. We may even go with the flow outwardly but hold bitterness inside. Throwing a pity party seems like a good idea until you realize no one cares about your pity. Not getting our way is never easy, but sometimes it really is for the best.

One of the things that G-Pop and G-Baby enjoyed doing together was just taking a walk around the block. She would hold my hand as we walked. Where I went, she went. Occasionally, she would release my hand and venture out. That bright yellow car was very pretty and she would check it out with or without G-Pop. G-Pop just let her go but watched her carefully and from nearby to make sure she was safe

She would eventually grab my hand again. Soon afterward, a five to ten pound puppy came up and jumped on her wanting to lick her pretty, little face.  She did not let go of my hand, and she was happy to see and pet the puppy. It distracted her from our walk, but only for a moment, and we began to finish our short journey.

I suddenly thought that this is what it must be like for God. He wants to walk with us. He wants to hold our hand. Sometimes we let go and do our own thing and wonder why we got into trouble. Other times we stay close to him, but we allow things that come upon us to take our eyes off where we are going.

God does not force us to go his way. He does not make us hold his hand. He lets us choose our direction. Just as G-Pop did for G-Baby, his hand is always there to grab. God never leaves our side. He just watches us with love waiting patiently for us to continue together.

DETAILS MATTER

During a recent annual health screening, the nurse at all four stations asked me my name and date of birth for identification purposes. While it did not bother me, I quietly wondered if this detail was necessary since I only walked about ten feet from the previous location. Did they think my answer would change?

I went to the hospital for a complete physical and the same thing happened. Answering the same questions repeatedly can be annoying, but it also has its purpose.

Today I heard a story on the radio about a man having surgery to remove a kidney. The problem is they removed it from the wrong man. They hospital failed to follow protocol. They asked for the name of the patient but not the date of birth. The two patients shared the same name but were several years apart in age.

I suppose the man missing his healthy kidney removed would have preferred to answer one more repetitive question.

I see people take shortcuts or avoid certain details in their jobs. They do not understand the reason for some of the details. They would prefer to finish the task quicker hoping to accomplish more, but at what cost?

Even in writing and texting, people leave out important details that can change the meaning of the whole statement. “Do not forget to eat young children” is much scarier than “Do not forget to eat, young children.” One is a crime, and the other could be a healthy reminder.

Details can save lives or make things last longer. Routinely changing oil in your car and ensuring proper inflation of tires can extend the life of the vehicle. Taking 2 seconds to put on your seatbelt can save your life.

I have seen job details removed from procedures because no one knew or understood their purpose only to find out by some problem showing up years later.  Some of these problems required those details to be reinstated but would also mean that years of neglect made for redoing jobs that had been completed in the past. This cost workhours and a lot of money.

Even in our personal lives, details can make a difference. Details such as saying thank you, listening, or opening a door for someone can make someone feel appreciated and change the outlook of their day.

Paying attention to details may not sound glorious, but it can make a significant difference in the outcome.

HOPE DEFERRED MAKES THE HEART SICK

Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Hope is a wonderful thing. We hope for the best. We hope for a brighter tomorrow. We hope to feel better. There are many things for which to have hope. However, sometimes the things we hope for do not come when we would like them.

Friday morning, my son went to have a procedure performed that hopefully would relieve his pain. He came out of that appointment frustrated and disappointed. It turns out this was not the procedure but a consultation about having the procedure. Hope was not lost but delayed. A little over an hour later he received a call saying they could do the procedure that afternoon.

Just because things do not go as you want them does not mean they are not going to happen.

This happened with a job I applied for years ago. I interviewed for four separate openings for the same position with the same supervisor. Each opening was only several months apart from each other. Each time, they told me they gave the job to someone else because of some political connection. I was already performing the job as a contractor under this supervisor’s oversight. Each time I saw an unqualified person hired; it caused a sick feeling in my heart. I had a choice. Continue to have hope or give up and seek another opportunity.

I chose to continue to keep a positive attitude. I chose to continue to do my job in the best way positive. I chose to keep the hope alive.

When another interview for the same position and the same supervisor presented itself, the results were a little surprising. The “higher-ups” wanted them to hire someone with more connections again. This was not the surprising part. The supervisor told me because I kept up my work and specifically my attitude, he would fight to get me on and not hire anyone else until they let him. The process took a few months, but he and I both prevailed.

There are many times in my life when I saw hopes and dreams deferred. Sometimes my actions caused the postponement of the things for which I hoped.  Sometimes the reasons were out of my control. I can learn from my past mistakes. I can learn not to let things outside of my control define how I respond. Disappointments will arise, but my hope will continue.

Do not let disappointment steal your hope.  

 

   

   

Road Construction

On September 4, 2015, there was a traffic advisory issued by Sewerage and Water Board stating that a one block stretch of road would be closed due to construction. “The expected construction duration is approximately three months.”

This would force me to change my route home from work daily, but this would be tolerable since it was only to be three months long.

Now it is thirteen months, and that one block is still closed.  I assumed the road would reopen once the trucks, equipment, and workers were gone. How wrong could I have been?

I understand the word “approximately” means there is some flexibility that we could expect, but at what point does it mean we will open it when we feel like it.

I know that there is construction and detours everywhere that cause frustration. I am not alone in hating these “temporary” inconveniences.

Construction should be to improve things. Better roads, better buildings, and maybe a better future could result from construction. That is, if it is ever completed.

Just like roads, we are all under construction. We are not the same person we were when we were born. Through the course of our life, we face many changes that could make us better. Some improvements can happen overnight, but some seem to take years.

My desire is to be as close to perfect as I can be when I die, but that will take a lot more “construction” than just a few months’ worth of work. I also recognize that no one else is perfect at this point either. What does this mean to me? It means I need to practice patience with other people. I also hope that others will be patient with me.

Construction is unavoidable. I cannot wait to see our completed future. I will try to be patient, and possibly enjoy, the process of the construction in our lives.