Friendship

In the wake of Hurricane Harvey hitting Texas, I wrote about dealing with the storms of life. After just a short couple of weeks, Hurricane Irma brought a lot of damage and destruction to Florida. I have family that stayed behind because of job responsibilities. I have friends that were able to evacuate to my house for safety. Hurricanes are no jokes. They upset people’s lives.

Because of troubled times, we often see the best and the worst of people. Scam-artists take people for every penny they own or at least as much as they can swindle out of them. Price gouging becomes a reality. Thieves are looking for abandoned homes to see what to steal.

While there are plenty of bad characters out there, I prefer to see the good. The people who uproot their lives to help people tear down and rebuild homes.  The neighbors that stay behind to protect their homes as well as the surrounding houses that belong to others. The check writers that help finance the rebuilding, feeding, and schooling.

I am thankful that I had friends that allowed me to evacuate to their homes when I needed to leave. I am thankful for the family members that took my family and me into their homes for extended periods during the aftermath of our disaster. I try to provide the same opportunity to others who are in need of help.

This is where being a true friend is important.

Some friends are only there as long as everything is going smoothly. When the good times are rolling, they are there. Then they disappear at the first sign of trouble.

Some friends are only friends as long as you pay for everything. They never help and only seem to be friends because there is something in it for them. The trouble is that they never truly invest in the relationship. When the money runs out or you have given all you can give, those friends disappear.

Some friends are friends when you are around, but gossip behind your back. They are only friends now, so they do not feel alone. Normally they are insecure and just want people to like them, but as long as someone is around it does not need to be you. They use friends as a security blanket until the next cool person come around and then they go away.

I have a few good friends. Those that even when I have not seen them over extended periods will be there when I need them. I can communicate with them as if we were never apart. I can joke with them in ways that others may not understand, but it works for us. The friends that I let into my heart are true friends.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  (Proverbs 18:24 NIV)

I try to be a reliable friend. I am not just a friend in the moment. I enjoy spending time with my friends. I enjoy a quick text. I enjoy sharing my experiences with them. I do not require them to do anything but be themselves and to let me be myself. Sometimes people cannot handle me truly being myself, though I admit I can be a lot to handle.

Friendship is a choice. Choose your friends wisely.  Be the best friend that you can be. Show yourself friendly to everyone. 

The Draft

Various sports around the world hold drafts that allow them to choose which players they will sign contracts. The earlier a player is drafted usually corresponds to the amount they will be paid. This is similar to children picking captains to choose who will be on their team. The captains normally select the better players first, while the other children just do not want to be the last one.  

Sometimes the teams making the choices are fortunate to find a hidden gem that works out better than expected. Too many times, someone selected too soon is cause for heartbreak. Drafts are highly unpredictable. You really do not know what you have until you have worked with them.

Many instances of life are similar to drafts. In politics, we vote for someone we do not really know to keep the promises they make. Sometimes they do, but for a variety of reasons, they more often do not. 

Job interviews are also like this. Some people interview well and get the job unable to fulfill the demands. Those not selected may exceed the job requirements, but they are unable to master the interview.

Fixing missed opportunities can be a lengthy and costly process. 

We can choose our friends, as well. Sometimes we choose well. Then we have those times when we wonder how we got involved with some of them. I have been very fortunate. I have great friends. I may not see them all as often as I like. This is largely because of where everyone lives these days. However, with technology, it is easier to stay in contact. 

The one thing we cannot choose is our family members. I would also like to say, that I would still draft everyone in my family. From siblings to cousins and even my in-laws, they all have been a blessing in one way or the other. There are some with whose opinions I may never agree. Some make decisions that I do not understand. What difference do things make? They are still some of the greatest people I have ever met. 

If I had to draft family members, I would miss some things that make me who I am. No family is perfect. Nevertheless, my family is perfect for me.

I hear people complain about their families. Bad relationships have ruined the mere concept of family for some. Some of the reasons they have are understandable, but my heart goes out to these people. I think they are missing out. 

I wish everyone could have the large, loud, and possibly obnoxious family and friends that I do. I think family is important. Fortunately, some friends are more like family. For those that do not think they have a great family, find a few good friends. Some do not know how to make friends. The best way to make a friend is to be friendly.  

Bah Humbug and Jingle Bells

It is the most wonderful time of the year. People seem to be in a holly jolly mood. Some are dreaming of a white Christmas. Some focus on the spirit of giving with baking and shopping for loved ones. Some like the weather while building snowmen and making snow angels. (People can only dream about these in the heat where I live.) Some are planning Christmas menus to share meals with their extended families. Some are volunteering to help those less fortunate themselves. Some are decorating their homes. 

Over the years, my mood during December has swung from one extreme to the other and back to somewhere in the middle. Some years, I despised Christmas for the commercialism that starts in October; the greed of people focused more on getting than giving, and the overextension of my budget. In other years, I toss all cynicism aside and go all out on decorating the tree, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music on the radio, and focus on giving the best I can to the ones I love.

This year, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I was excited to put up my Christmas village and had it up in just a couple of hours. Then I put up the tree. The tree has been up for over a week, and I finally put lights on it yesterday. As of writing this, it still only has lights on it. My wife and I have completed most of our Christmas shopping, mostly thanks to her. I take off most of December from one job but work more hours at my second one.

I am not sure why my December moods change so frequently. To tell the truth, the reason does not matter. I love my family and my friends. I love seeing them happy and smiling. My coworkers make working during the holidays better. Like my family and friends, they can put a smile on my face.

People matter.

It is because of this that I do not want to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. It is not just the spirit of giving. Some may not believe this, but I do. The meaning is specifically about what God has given to us. He wants us to have a relationship with Him just as I want with those I love. The thing he gave us was His son, Jesus, to take care of the business that we ourselves cannot do. That business is to pay for our sins by being born into this world, dying, and resurrecting so that we may live with Him. Sin kept us away, but “if you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Christmas is about God’s love for us. Let us celebrate by returning that love to Him and to those around us. 

Random Birthday Thoughts

This Thursday, November 10, I get to celebrate my fiftieth birthday. I love my birthdays. People will say I am getting older, but to me age does not matter. After all, it is only half a century. (If you made fifty before I did, I will probably call you old.”  I love this quote, “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”

People fear birthdays especially the big ones. Age, however, is just a number. I know people much younger than me that are in much worse shape than me. I also know others much older than me that are in much better shape.  Sometimes my mind and my body are not in agreement with what I can do, but life continues and I make adjustments.

I was celebrating my third birthday on the day Sesame Street had their debut. I loved growing up watching the adventures of Grover, Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch. Now I get to watch my G-Baby enjoy watching Elmo.

It is nice to have some things remain the same. It is also nice to have some things change. 

Since I was born, many inventions have helped us live differently if not better. The ATM helped me many times when needing cash after hours.  Cell phones make it easier to keep in touch. GPS tries to get me to the right location. The internet has granted us access to more information than we ever thought possible. Some of it is reliable. Fax machines, DVDs, and MRIs, video game, and even Post-It-Notes, have changed our way of life. I have learned that things can be fun or important, but people are more important. Let us get our priorities in proper perspective.

I have seen friends come, and I have seen friends go. I have seen people change for the better and some for the worse. Keep in touch with your friends and make new ones. I have had friends in their seventies and now have friends in their early twenties. Do not let age be a barrier to who you have in your circle. Everyone has something to offer. Add something positive to you friends.

Things do not always go according to plan. As I get older, I have learned to improvise, adapt, and overcome. This is a mantra sometimes used by the Marine Corps, with which I share my birthday. They, of course, were established a mere 241 years before I was. No, I was never a Marine, but I am thankful we have them.

I have been to many funerals over the years. They are sad events. As I get older, I have thought about what I want at my funeral. I want people to laugh. I want them to enjoy themselves as they remember me. I want a pizza buffet and an ice cream sundae buffet for people to enjoy. My wife drew the line when I said I wanted a clown. Maybe that would be a bit much.

My message for you today: Life is too short. Enjoy it while you can. Make a difference. Keep priorities straight.