The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” At least, that is how the song goes. Usually, the holiday season is full of excitement and anticipation. The end of the years brings us Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. In my immediate family, it also brings three birthdays and two wedding anniversaries. This year also brought a college graduation. It is normally a great ending to the year. The season is full of good times, but it also has its issues. This year has had its share of the good, bad and ugly.

THE GOOD: Getting to celebrate anything with family is a wonderful time for me. I love my immediate family and my extended family. Not everyone can say that! We celebrate the holidays when our schedules will allow. Celebrating Christmas/Thanksgiving on a weekend before the actual holiday does not take away from the season for me. It is not about the food, the gifts, or the traveling. It is about being together.

THE BAD:  We can always find something about which to complain. While shopping, people shopping can be rude. Traffic becomes a problem. Stress can get to elevated levels. Waiting until the last minute to shop and not being able to get the one gift that would make the holiday better for someone can leave us feeling unaccomplished. We must take the bad with the good. The bad makes the good seem even better. Try to remain calm in any situation. Remember that everyone else around you are trying to accomplish the same thing as you. Treat others, as you want to be treated.

THE UGLY: This year’s Christmas week was not great.  Four days before Christmas, my dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Four days later, my stepmom had a major stroke. The holidays brought many tears. My dad was my hero. I loved him dearly. He was funny, smart, always prepared, generous and loving. He was a great man and a better dad. We cry not for the dead, but because we will miss him.

The good that comes from the ugly is that you find out that people really do care about you.

Life does not end. Death is just a part of life. Life continues. The day that my dad died, a baby was born to someone I know from work. The new baby, Claire will never replace my dad. I may never meet her. However, we will remember his life story. Her story is just beginning.

Let us continue to look to the future. Do not be stuck in the past. Celebrate what you have. Remember what matters. Focus on the good even in the ugly times.

May you all have a Happy New Year!

Life Sucks But I Love It

Since a very recent tragedy took place at work, counselors and social workers came and held sessions to help us through tough times. While sitting in my group, my mind began to wander. Of course, I feel for the people involved and their families, but my mind went much further back in time than this past week.

I love people. I may not always know how to show it and many people have thought that I was detached emotionally. I have been at funerals of loved ones when I heard people say, “Did you see Larry cry? I never thought I would see that.” I often wondered how horrible a person I must be if people do not notice I care. However, I do care, and I care very much.

I may hide my true feelings through joking around with others. Bringing laughter to situations regardless of how bad it may be. I believe laughter is the best medicine, though some may not appreciate it at times. Over the years, I have learned when and to whom I can joke without offending others. (I still may lapse judgment here on occasion.)

The tragedy that happened last week made me think about tragic times in my life. Like everyone, I have lost loved ones like my mom (much too early), my grandparents, and many friends. While the loss of my mom left a deep emptiness in my heart to which I have never recovered, what I really felt was the fact that both of her parents had to go through the loss of a child. While I know it happens, no parent should ever have to witness the death of his or her own child.

Other tragic things I have experienced, as others have, is illness that changed my life forever, a hurricane that destroyed all of my material things leaving me homeless, a tornado that hit my new home causing tens of thousands of dollars in damage, an unwanted job change and an unexpected surgery.

Life sure can suck. However, life goes on.

I have a wife that has been true to her wedding vows (richer, poorer, good times and bad). I love her more than she can imagine, but my showing it sometimes fails.  I have two fantastic sons and a daughter in law for which I would do anything. I have a granddaughter that rocks my world and even seeing a picture of her brings a smile to my face and spirit. 

I have a job that I enjoy (two jobs actually) although I work too many hours and see my family far too little.  I have a few good friends, a nicer home than before the tragedies, a church family that I love, a fellowship of ministers to which I am proud to be a part. I am in a better place than I have been in the past. I can now help others where before I struggled to help myself.  

One thing that I know, life continues and I must continue with it. When I am weak, God is still strong. He holds me up. He also has given me all of the good things that I have listed and many more. Therefore, while tragedy continues to fill lives, I will continue to get out of bed and get moving, and I encourage others to do the same.

This is my life. It is not perfect, but I LOVE IT.