Do Good Things Really Happen To Those That Wait?

I have heard it said that good things come to those who wait. Recently I began to wonder how true that statement really is.  I know of people that have waited for something good to happen to them, but good seems to be just out of their reach. How can something good keep missing the same people? How long does one have to wait before good finds them?

Life is full of surprises. I do not believe that good things happen to people by chance. I believe things happen to people depending on the waiting process. In other words, the things you do while waiting makes the difference.

If you are waiting for the bus and get distracted by your phone or something that is around you, it is entirely possible that you miss the bus for which you have been waiting. Being distracted can lead to missed opportunities. Keep focused on what it is you want. Do not let immaterial things stop you from achieving your goals. Wait without being distracted.

Sometimes people are waiting for good things to happen but are not in the right place. If you wait for a bus at the wrong bus stop, the bus you need will never come. Make sure you put yourself in a place where you can find good opportunities. Sending in resumes for jobs in which you are not qualified is similar to that situation. Better use of your time is to seek jobs for which you are qualified, but you should continue to expand your qualifications whether taking classes, volunteering or job shadowing. Wait at the right place.

I went to a big box store last year for a few things. The line at the register was so long and was not moving. I became frustrated, put my items back and went to another store. Many opportunities are missed because we grow impatient or frustrated. We need to learn to keep our heads in the game. We want to take the fastest approach which may not be the best way to go. Sometimes it is more beneficial to wait for the right opportunity then to just take the next opportunity. We may need to ask ourselves if the opportunity in front of us will help me achieve our goals. If it does not, we may need to wait for the right one. Wait with patience.

It is said that no news is good news. That just means that you still have a chance because you have not been rejected. Some people will try for what they want because they assume they have no chance. If you want something, go for it. Believe in yourself. Do not lose confidence because the wheels in a situation are moving really slow. Slow wheels are still turning. Some opportunities may take longer than others. Good opportunities are worth the waiting. Wait with hope.

Keep your eye on the prize. Do not forget what you want to achieve. Be consistent in seeking what will help you accomplish your goals and leave aside things that may hinder them. In the Old Testament, the people were waiting to hear the word of God, but because it took longer than they expected began to serve golden idols. Keep moving in the right direction. Wait while remaining faithful.

Good things will come to those that wait, but how you wait matters.

DISTRACTED

The other day I was thinking about some of the dumb things that my wife caught me doing. Once, I was playing a game in my mind while watching television but didn’t realize it became physically obvious to those around me. I had my feet propped up on my ottoman and for some reason was lining up my toes and fingers with what was happening on the screen. Yes, I know it is stupid, but it was something that happened all of a sudden. It wasn’t planned. The only reason my wife realized something was going on is because she saw me opening and closing one eye. Nothing else had moved on my body. When she asked me what I was doing, I could only say, “nothing.” How do you explain the stupid games that happen in one’s own mind?

There was another time many years ago that we visited my dad and drove by the beach on the way home. We went through the parking lot and at one point there is a stop sign that faces the beach. When I came to a stop, there was a woman directly in front of me that removed her shirt and wore on a tiny bikini. Then she turned the other way removing her shorts to show her thong. I froze. My mind went blank. I forgot to proceed from the stop sign. The brain-fart only lasted a few seconds, but the result was a long quiet drive home. WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Needless to say, distractions come in all shapes and sizes. Some may be harmless, some are not.

Some may not have any consequences.  Some may be severe.

We live in a world where distractions are everywhere. We may be at a family meal when a text message comes across our phone. Rather than talk to those around us, we may engage in a conversation with someone miles away. We then wonder why families aren’t communicating as well anymore.

How many times have you seen a person driving 10 – 20 miles under the speed limit swerving in the fast lane only to pass them to see them texting on talking on the phone? Have you ever been in a meeting when something happens that takes your mind off of the topic being discussed? Even being in a conversation with someone, there are times we are not focused on what the person is saying but rather on what we will say next.

I am as guilty as anyone if not more so. Like everyone else, my mind wanders. It may go to different places than most people’s do or maybe not. I don’t know what goes on in your mind.

We need to learn to focus. There are times distractions are necessary, but I am speaking of times they become more as a detriment. We should concern ourselves more with the task that matters. Put aside distractions of trying to gain wealth rather than help those around you. We all have a path we should take in this life, a purpose. Follow your purpose.

Don’t let outside distractions hold you back. Some distractions may include people saying you aren’t good enough. Some things hinder your personal growth. Some are people that just don’t understand you. Don’t let distractions stop you or define you. Be the best you that you can be. 

Religion? No Thanks.

Several years ago, I attended a local concert with a coworker and several of his friends. I was having a conversation with a friend of his that was drinking quite a bit. During our conversation, he told me that my coworker had informed him that I was a minister but not to worry because I was cool. I thought on this quite a bit since that time.

What made me an exception to the rule of being a minister that he did not have to worry? What made me acceptable as being cool? I even asked my coworker about it. The conclusions I have reached may not be completely accurate, but I would like to think I am close.

The statement did not bother me. In fact, I took honor in it. To some degree, this meant that both the church community and the non-churched (for lack of a better term) community accepted me.

Today, people do not like stereotypes. However, as humans, we still have a hard time not categorizing others in a stereotype. Ministers and other “churchgoers” are in a stereotype of being religious. Religious according to Webster’s dictionary is “believing in a god or a group of gods and following the rules of a religion.” I think that is part of the problem. Religious people follow rules. Different religions have different rules. This causes people to judge others based of their particular set of rules.

People do not enjoy others telling them they are wrong. People do not like others judging them. 

What most people want is to be accepted.

If you look at life of Paul in the New Testament, he was very religious. He followed the Jewish religion to the letter. He had such a zeal for it that he imprisoned and killed many who did not believe as he did. He did not understand that loving God and being religious were two separate things.

I look at the how religion has physically killed millions of people. Islamic Jihads killed millions over twelve centuries. The Aztecs had human sacrifices killing nearly 20, 000 people a year. Nero, emperor of Rome in 64AD persecuted and killed Christians for about a hundred years. The list of religious atrocities goes on: the witch-hunts, the Inquisition, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, and India’s Thuggee Murders.

Since this is what is on my mind, you must understand that I am a Christian, and my thoughts reflect my beliefs in the life and teachings of Jesus.

Religion is dangerous. Jesus came to love. He came not to condemn people. He came to save them from sin. He did not come to initiate a new religion. He came to set people free. The people that gave him the most trouble were the religious people. They gave him so much trouble that they beat him and hung him on a cross until he died.

Today, many people grew up with certain religious viewpoints. To some degree, whether those viewpoints are valid or not, it is how they continue to live and by which they judge others. You accept people by how you think they should be according to your rules.

Let us be rule-breakers. I do not mean breaking the law or following after some sin. Jesus talked to people that others thought he should not. He taught love in his words and by example. He preached acceptance, not of the wrong people did, but of the people themselves.

Do I have faith? The answer is yes. Do I love, honor and obey Jesus? I most definitely do. Do I follow a set of rules that man has made up to please a God that has given me freedom and liberty? I hope that answer is no. I am not perfect. I try to love and accept without judging. Many times, I succeed. I hope to succeed more in the future.

Is religion for me? I absolutely say no. 

Leaving The Past Behind

Today is my dad’s 90^th birthday. We celebrated his life yesterday with a party of many friends and family in attendance. There was a slideshow running on the television sets that showed many old pictures.  I saw reminders of some good times as well as some bad hair days and some horrible wardrobe choices.  

This past week I have been thinking a lot about the past; the good, the bad and the ugly. Sometimes we get stuck in the past and forget to look upon today.

There is nothing wrong with remembering the past. I remember watching Married with Children and hearing Al Bundy talk about his glorious moment of scoring four touchdowns in a single high school football game. There is a big difference in remembering the past and living in the past. Al Bundy didn’t care for his present so instead of looking to improve his position in life and perhaps his future, he chose to dwell on past glories.

When we get married, many make the vow for better or for worse. That works right until the point things are no longer better and people decide their vows were just words with no meanings. We do not have to settle for the way things are but it takes work, desire, and a decision to make things better.

This post is not about marriage and divorce. This is about anyone’s past.

Many of us remember the good that we have done. Maybe we helped someone, gave a donation to a cause, or encouraged someone to do the right thing. Whatever the good is that we have done is not all there is.

In professional sports there is a saying, “what have you done for me lately.” It is great that we have good point in our past. However, they are in the past. There is a world of people that still need help. Remembering people with needs or praying for them is good, but there is so much more that we can do. We can do those things but we also must feed the hungry, give drink t the thirsty, invite those who have no place to stay and be hospitable to those who are not like us. We can donate clothes to those who have nothing. Some people just want someone to talk to or a visit from someone, even from someone that they do not know. I applaud the good that has been done. What are we going to do today?

 There is also a matter of those who have made poor choices. I know I have.  I also know that if I went back, I would be the same person and probably make the same choices again. It is not that I would want to make those choices. I just know how I am. I choose not to live with regrets. Those choices have led me to be the person I am today. That doesn’t mean things could not have been better. Those choices, however, allowed me to make friends with people that I never would have met.  They have allowed me to live where I live. They have allowed me to gain skills that were previously unknown. Regrets hold us back. Look at where you are and be thankful that things are not as bad as they could have been. Be thankful for what you have. Accept the things that have happened and learn from them. Realize you have survived some bad choices. Move on to a brighter tomorrow by leaving the past behind.

People sometimes provide scars or have changed your past. Some may have been on purpose while others a matter of circumstance. We need to get past the scars and the hurts. Bitterness and hatred affect us not just emotionally but also physically. If we give up the right to hate or to be mad and choose to love and forgive, we would be much happier. The choice to do this is not always easy. I have people who have hurt me. Not living with anger makes my life much more enjoyable. I am at peace because of this choice. It doesn’t mean I should accept my position in life. It means the past is not a place worth dwelling and I choose to move forward.

I will make wrong choices. I will also make right ones. Whatever will happen will happen. I may remember the past, but I will not live there. The future is too bright. 

Lessons Learned From Traffic

No one likes to be in traffic, but that is exactly where I found myself the other day. Instead of taking only forty minutes to drive home, it took over an hour. I am not a patient person and acknowledge it as one of my flaws.  However, as I watched how the drivers were operating their vehicles, it made me think about a few observations from which we may be able to learn.

Some observations made me think about how people live their lives. Those observations include the following:

A few people were cutting through parking lots to get in front of those waiting in line. There are people in this world, who do not care about following rules. They do not care about anyone else in the moment but rather only concern themselves with themselves. How much better would the world be if we chose to honor one another above ourselves?

Some people never use turn signals. This doesn’t bother me as much as it does some because over the course of my life, I have seen people using them only to have others speed up so the driver cannot change lanes. Sometimes not signaling is a sign that they do not know where they are going until it is too late. I wish everyone had direction in his or her life. Not knowing your purpose in life can be frustrating. It can make a person jump from cause to cause just trying to feel important. Everyone is important. We all have different functions in life. We will never all agree on everything. Nevertheless, one direction that we should follow is to love everyone.

One thing that particularly aggravates me is tailgaters. Getting close to my vehicle where I cannot see the bumper of your car in my review mirror will not help anyone get anywhere faster. If I am going slower than you do, get in the passing lane and pass me. Most of the time, getting in front of me only allows you to get behind the car in front of me. There are many impatient people in this world. Normally we are impatient because people do not do things as we think they should. In many of my jobs, I have learned that many times there is no one correct way of doing something. (I know some things do but not all.) Having the “I am always right” attitude only causes stress. It is arrogant to think we are better than others are. We should accept one another in love with all humility, gentleness, and patience even if that means not getting our way.

Defensive drivers are much safer. They always watch to see dangers before they arrive. Some people live life seeing what may come and preparing for it. Others fear what the future may hold and never take chances. Without taking risks, we are stuck in routines that never help us to excel. Mark Zuckerberg once said, “The biggest risk is not taking any risk... In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.” Do not be afraid of what tomorrow may bring. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own. I am not saying you will succeed every time, but failure is only after you stop trying. Every time you do not succeed. Learn from it.

I could add to the list.

·   Stingy drivers (only lets one person in front of him for the entire trip regardless of how many intersections -showed enough kindness for one day),

·   The slow driver in fast lane (slowing progress of people going somewhere), and

·    In addition, the courteous drivers (helps others in need and puts other people first.)

In our daily lives, let us remember the people around us. Do not consider yourself the most important thing in this world. When we are gone, life will continue without us. Make a difference. Invest in someone’s life. Learn from the things and the people around you. Most of all, love everyone.

Life Sucks But I Love It

Since a very recent tragedy took place at work, counselors and social workers came and held sessions to help us through tough times. While sitting in my group, my mind began to wander. Of course, I feel for the people involved and their families, but my mind went much further back in time than this past week.

I love people. I may not always know how to show it and many people have thought that I was detached emotionally. I have been at funerals of loved ones when I heard people say, “Did you see Larry cry? I never thought I would see that.” I often wondered how horrible a person I must be if people do not notice I care. However, I do care, and I care very much.

I may hide my true feelings through joking around with others. Bringing laughter to situations regardless of how bad it may be. I believe laughter is the best medicine, though some may not appreciate it at times. Over the years, I have learned when and to whom I can joke without offending others. (I still may lapse judgment here on occasion.)

The tragedy that happened last week made me think about tragic times in my life. Like everyone, I have lost loved ones like my mom (much too early), my grandparents, and many friends. While the loss of my mom left a deep emptiness in my heart to which I have never recovered, what I really felt was the fact that both of her parents had to go through the loss of a child. While I know it happens, no parent should ever have to witness the death of his or her own child.

Other tragic things I have experienced, as others have, is illness that changed my life forever, a hurricane that destroyed all of my material things leaving me homeless, a tornado that hit my new home causing tens of thousands of dollars in damage, an unwanted job change and an unexpected surgery.

Life sure can suck. However, life goes on.

I have a wife that has been true to her wedding vows (richer, poorer, good times and bad). I love her more than she can imagine, but my showing it sometimes fails.  I have two fantastic sons and a daughter in law for which I would do anything. I have a granddaughter that rocks my world and even seeing a picture of her brings a smile to my face and spirit. 

I have a job that I enjoy (two jobs actually) although I work too many hours and see my family far too little.  I have a few good friends, a nicer home than before the tragedies, a church family that I love, a fellowship of ministers to which I am proud to be a part. I am in a better place than I have been in the past. I can now help others where before I struggled to help myself.  

One thing that I know, life continues and I must continue with it. When I am weak, God is still strong. He holds me up. He also has given me all of the good things that I have listed and many more. Therefore, while tragedy continues to fill lives, I will continue to get out of bed and get moving, and I encourage others to do the same.

This is my life. It is not perfect, but I LOVE IT.

Why a blog?

People often ask me what is going through my mind. Often times, answering that question is not an easy task. It is not that I do not know what I am thinking, but wondering how the questioner would respond if they only knew.  Sometimes the things that I think are completely irrelevant to what is going on around me. I know this does not necessarily make me unique, but those things are often times unique. While the things that I do and say are put out there for the world to see, I keep most of my thoughts and feelings tucked away more than most would believe. Sometimes I feel like I need to let those thoughts out of the cold dark cellar of my mind regardless of what others may think, if for no other reason than to keep my sanity. I am aware that when it comes to blogging, I am late to the party. However, my writing is more to help me and maybe along the way, a few others.

This is perhaps the beginning glimpses for those who may want an inside glimpse into my mind.