Since a very recent tragedy took place at work, counselors and
social workers came and held sessions to help us through tough times. While
sitting in my group, my mind began to wander. Of course, I feel for the people
involved and their families, but my mind went much further back in time than
this past week.
I love people. I may not always know how to show it and many
people have thought that I was detached emotionally. I have been at funerals of
loved ones when I heard people say, “Did you see Larry cry? I never thought I
would see that.” I often wondered how horrible a person I must be if
people do not notice I care. However, I do care, and I care very much.
I may hide my true feelings through joking around with others.
Bringing laughter to situations regardless of how bad it may be. I believe
laughter is the best medicine, though some may not appreciate it at times. Over
the years, I have learned when and to whom I can joke without offending others.
(I still may lapse judgment here on occasion.)
The tragedy that happened last week made me think about tragic
times in my life. Like everyone, I have lost loved ones like my mom (much too
early), my grandparents, and many friends. While the loss of my mom left a deep
emptiness in my heart to which I have never recovered, what I really felt was
the fact that both of her parents had to go through the loss of a child. While
I know it happens, no parent should ever have to witness the death of his or
her own child.
Other tragic things I have experienced, as others have, is
illness that changed my life forever, a hurricane that destroyed all of my
material things leaving me homeless, a tornado that hit my new home causing
tens of thousands of dollars in damage, an unwanted job change and an
unexpected surgery.
Life sure can suck. However, life goes on.
I have a wife that has been true to her wedding vows (richer,
poorer, good times and bad). I love her more than she can imagine, but my
showing it sometimes fails. I have two fantastic sons and a daughter in
law for which I would do anything. I have a granddaughter that rocks my world
and even seeing a picture of her brings a smile to my face and spirit.
I have a job that I enjoy (two jobs actually) although I work
too many hours and see my family far too little. I have a few good
friends, a nicer home than before the tragedies, a church family that I love, a
fellowship of ministers to which I am proud to be a part. I am in a better
place than I have been in the past. I can now help others where before I
struggled to help myself.
One thing that I know, life continues and I must continue with
it. When I am weak, God is still strong. He holds me up. He also has given me
all of the good things that I have listed and many more. Therefore, while
tragedy continues to fill lives, I will continue to get out of bed and get
moving, and I encourage others to do the same.
This is my life. It is not perfect, but I LOVE IT.
