A Hot Mess: A Different Perspective

In my last post, A Hot Mess, I explained how making coffee when the top is still on the travel mug is a bad idea. Today, I would like to revisit that same mess that was made but from a different outlook. 

This week, I thought about how that cup represents people today. I have several coffee cups and travel mugs, but I tend to use the same ones most of the time. My favorite travel mug has pictures of my wife and grandkids. My favorite cups to use at home are from Spain and France. While I do not use these exclusively, I use them more than the rest. 

Every morning I drink coffee on the way to work. All of the travel mugs I use have lids, and all hold at least 12 ounces of coffee. More than anything, the cup is a tool used for a fundamental purpose. That is if you believe holding coffee so I can drink it is important. However, coffee mugs do not serve their purpose until there is coffee poured into them. 

We may not realize that we all serve a purpose, but we do. Some of us may not even know what that purpose is yet. Some of us overthink our mission and get frustrated when we don’t come up with a purpose that seems important to us. Your purpose may not be as crucial to you as it is to others.  Some reasons for being here may be to help others, to cause some to laugh or enjoy life, or to make this world a better place.  There are many reasons to live. Like the coffee mug, we just need to be there ready to be put to use. 

Part of being a useful mug is to be empty until it is time to be used. No one wants to pour coffee into a mug that is filled with something else. Can you imagine a mug being filled with oil and then you add coffee to it before drinking? Yuck. That would be a problem.

The same is true of us. Sometimes we are filled and cannot be put to our proper use. We may have allowed ourselves to be filled with things like bitterness, anger, hatred, selfishness, or jealousy. It is hard to be useful when you are already full. 

Now, I would never allow oil to be poured into my coffee mugs. The same is true of my life. I need to make sure I don’t let things into my life that render me useless. I need to fill my life with things that can help me serve my purpose.  Things like love, joy, kindness, goodness, and self-control need to be poured into my life so I can do things like helping others or whatever. 

Everyone seems to take their coffee in different ways. Some people like cream and sugar. Some like it black. Some like it with more milk than coffee. My coffee cup needs to be filled with what will serve my preferred taste. 

I know a successful businessman who once said he would prefer to hire someone off the street with no college education that he could train himself. The college graduates came in with preconceived ideas, thinking they knew everything already and were not open to the ideas that were already working for the company. Those graduates were like cups that were full but did not serve the preferred purpose of the company. 

It is better to be an empty vessel that can be filled with what is useful to this life. 

2 Timothy 2:20-21(CSB)

“Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also those of wood and clay; some for honorable use and some for dishonorable. So if anyone purifies himself from anything dishonorable, he will be a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.”

                               

A Hot Mess

Some mornings don’t start in the desired fashion. I am a person who likes routine. I do the same thing the same way every morning on workdays. I have found that if I deviate from that routine, the chance of me forgetting to do something dramatically increases. There was a substantial deviation from my routine yesterday. Fortunately, I did not forget anything. However, it did cost me some extra time before leaving the house.

Part of my routine after leaving my room in the morning is to get my coffee brewing and then start getting dressed in the next room. When I return to the kitchen, I add my creamer to my coffee and continue with the rest of my routine.  This was the place when my routine came apart.

When I walked into the kitchen, I saw brown liquid covering a large portion of my counter next to my coffee maker. My first thought was that the cup was too small for the selected portion. I thought it overflowed. When I removed my travel mug, it was light, as if it was empty. That is because it had no coffee in it, at all.

It did not take long to discover the problem. The top of the travel mug was still on the top of my cup. An unfortunate mistake made a big mess.

There are various ways that people would handle this problem. Some people would blame the cup for having a top in the first place. While this makes no sense to most of us, we probably know someone like this. Some people refuse to admit that they have any responsibility for the problems. I have discovered that I usually have at least some faults in the mess with which I find myself.

Others would cry about the mess, but not do anything.

about the problem. They would even tell friends about their unfortunate situation so they could cry together. There is nothing wrong with crying. It just does not solve anything. After the tears have fallen, you still have a mess. Some people would prefer to cry until someone else cleans the mess for them. Even if someone else does clean your mess, you still have not learned to handle messy situations. We all know that one messy situation will not be the only one we have.

Some will see the mess and pretend it did not happen. This also does not fix the situation. Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. When you return to the scene, it is still there. Most of the time, the issue has become worse because of the neglect.

My choice for yesterday's mess seemed like a no-brainer, though I know many who would have chosen the other options. I cleaned the mess. Paper towels and wet rags were readily available, so I used them. I may not be the best at cleaning, but I must have done a decent job because my wife did not complain about sticky counters.

We should take after Jesus when it comes to fixing problems. When people were hungry, he did not ignore them. He handled the issue and fed over 4 thousand people once and over five thousand another time. He also taught those around him not to wait for others to solve the problem but to deal with it like in the parable of the Good Samaritan. The problem may not be your fault, but if there is a problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just solve the problem, teach others to solve problems.

Everyone has problems. Some problems are more significant than others. Some cannot be handled alone. Get help. Know that you are not alone. Most of all, trust God to get you through.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)

When Did Americans start hating freedom?

When did the people in the United States start hating freedom? I thought this country fought wars so that we could be free. I thought we went to war on behalf of others so they could also be free. Yet, every time someone uses their freedom to do or say what they want, they are quickly opposed to their right to say or do it.

The problem is we want our freedom. We just do not want those with whom we disagree to have it. Addidas, Ben & Jerry’s, Chick-fil-A, The NFL, and Nike have all been part of “boycotts” in the last few years because people do not like them exercising their freedoms. Now, you have the right to boycott. I’m not taking that away from you. I just hope your liberty to express yourself is not taken away.

We seem to be self-righteous. Our way is not only better than your way. It should be the only way. It is the best way. We may not say those words, but our actions scream them.

We call others weak because they are offended. We tell others to toughen up and get over themselves. Yet, we get angry when others express a different opinion. When people say we get offended, we deny it because that places the blame on us. We say, “I’m not offended, I am just standing up for what is right.”

An offense is defined as annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles. That sums up almost everyone I have ever spoken to who says they are not offended.

I do not agree with many things people say or do. I have chosen not to boycott or break ties with them. Last time I checked, the Bible speaks many times about unity, forgiveness, and love. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. (1 Peter 3:8) How does separating ourselves from people or even companies with whom we disagree display any of those principles? Separation does not show unity. Continually criticizing others does not demonstrate forgiveness. Hoping a person is fired and never works again does not display love.

II have a Christian friend of mine who had a Muslim open a business near his church. Most people could see that there is a different perception in the way these two men would think. My friend did not have his congregation boycott the business for his beliefs. He went to the man and asked if he could pray for the man’s business to be successful.

That is how we should be. I do not have to agree with everything you believe, but I should hope and pray for your success, not your ideas, but your business and your well-being. We should desire and pray for the best to happen to people. I think many of us believe that God cares more for values rather than people, but Jesus died for the people. He told them not to sin anymore, but he gave his life because he loved the people.

Yes, I am an American, but primarily, I am a follower of Christ. I believe in unity. I think that Christians should be in full accord and of one mind. (Philippians 2:2)

However, not all Americans are Christians. That is their prerogative. We do not have to be of one mind with everyone else. Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls. (Luke 11:17). I do not want the church to fall, but I also do not want the United States to collapse. We need to put aside our differences and pray for each other to succeed. 

Not Broken

Sometime back, our coffee maker quit working. This was not a good thing. My wife and I are coffee drinkers. We start our mornings with coffee. We sometimes end our days with coffee, and on occasion, it is how we make it through the day. When the piece of equipment that gives us our coffee goes down, we go into emergency mode.

I am thankful for the internet and YouTube. You can find out how to fix almost anything on here. That information was a lot harder to find when I was growing up in the '70s and '80s. We followed the steps the video demonstrated, and we were able to get the morning coffee. The repair did not last, and we bought an entirely different coffee maker.

People say things are not made the way they used to be. That is mostly true. Things seem to be made cheaper to replace but cost more to repair. It seemed to be that things were built to last back in the day, but when they broke, they could be fixed more efficiently and cost-effectively.

There is one thing that has never changed. You cannot fix what is not broken. We can destroy it. We can try to improve it. However, if it is not broken, you cannot repair it.

I have seen companies pay big money for computer programs and then try to change it to do something else. This often causes the program to go down costing many man-hours to repair it. It seems to me that you would buy customized software to do what you want. Trying to fix what is not broken is costly.

People are the same way. We see people that are different than us. They may be in better shape, have a better sense of humor, and be more financially sound. The possibilities are endless of what others are that we may want to replicate. We have seen people try to change who they are. They think there is something wrong with them. Trying to transform into something they are not can lead to many other problems including depression or self-loathing.

Quit trying to fix what is not broken. You are not defective. You are you. You were not created to be anyone else but you. That does not mean that you cannot be the best you that you can be, but don’t try to be an imitation of someone else.

You need to love yourself. You are worth loving. There are enough people in this world who won’t love you for you, but their opinion of you does not matter. What matters is God loves you, and if you are good enough for Him to love, then that should settle it. You are loveable.

God does not just love you, but he likes you. He was willing to lose his only son because of his love for you. God wants to spend time with you because He likes you. He likes when we talk to Him telling him how we feel and how our day is going. He wants to go with us to help us through the fires of life.

You are not broken. You just need to do you. God created you how He wanted you. If things that work for everyone else doesn’t seem to work for you, try it a different way that works only for you.

People can only be fixed if they are broken. You are not broken.

Blinded

I can’t imagine being born blind. I can barely get around my house without tripping on something that is always there now. When driving through Ruston, Louisiana, I noticed people with their eyes covered walking around with sight sticks. I later found out that Ruston was the home of the Louisiana Center for the Blind. The center teaches students the tools necessary to live life independently.  Finishing the program requires students to dropped off at a random location where they must find their way back.

My trip to Ruston was years ago, but I recalled this while reading a novel whose main character was born blind. She used echolocation to get around. Echolocation is the “ability of humans to detect objects in their environment by sensing echoes from those objects, by actively creating sounds.” The protagonist in the novel I am reading used clicking sounds from her mouth to “see.”

Throughout our lives, we will encounter many who are blind, though most of them can see. Their eyes may physically work, but they are blind in other areas. Jeremiah 5:21 says, “Hear this, you foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear.” This verse tells me that God wanted them to know something, but they chose not to hear it for some reason.

There are a variety of reasons that people do not see. Ignorance is one of those reasons. Ignorance is not stupidity. It is merely a lack of knowledge. If you saw a cow for the first time, you would not know what it is unless someone tells you it is a cow. The same is true of other things. If you have never been taught a truth, how can you know it? I have experienced people training me on the job that did not want to explain something because they preferred to be the only one with that knowledge. They thought it made them more valuable to the company. When the time came for me to use that knowledge, I could not. I was blind to that truth.

One truth that I learned over the years is God loves us all. Sometimes, we are

ignorant of that truth. If we do not demonstrate God’s love to others, then how can they know. Treat people the way God loves and tell them about the God of love. Knowing the truth can change their lives. John 8:31-32 states, “So He said to the Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, you are truly My disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” You cannot be set free if you do not know the truth.

Image source: Seasons of Life Ministries.

Sometimes we do not see the truth in our lives because we are too busy looking at the problem in everyone else’s lives. We choose to look at the negative in people without understanding what we need to correct ourselves. Often the thing that aggravates us about someone is the same trait that we have. We just don’t see it. We complain about others being close-minded, but we don’t listen to their point of view. Matthew 7:3 says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Some people can become blind after being able to see at first. Something changed to make them blind. Often, we do not know the truth because we have experienced something that distracts us from that truth. It is hard to believe that the Father loves you if you were abused by your parents. The abuse does not change the fact that he loves you. The experience blinds us to it. God did not want you to suffer. Sin brought into this world brought the suffering. We want free will but blame God when someone uses the free will to hurt us. Often these experiences lead us to blindness caused by resentment. Matthew 11:28-29 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” If we seek the Lord Jesus, he will reveal the truth and open your eyes to the reality that will bring you peace.

While many have learned to live with blindness, there is a better way. Quit holding on to things that hide the truth. See the truth. Do not choose to remain blind.

       

Blessed are your eyes because they do see, and your ears because they do hear. (Matthew 13:16)

One Lucky Day

Lucky
(This is the only picture I used with a dog I know)

I have been quite busy for the last month and a half. I have had visitors, staycations, outpatient surgery, and conferences. Don’t get me wrong; I loved them all except for the operation. However, I had to return to work so having one day to rest and do nothing seemed like a great plan. That planned day off did not go as planned.

I love my dog. My dog appears to love me, as well. He is an 8-year-old, 75-pound lap dog named Lucky. He likes to lie on the sofa next to me, and all of his weight rests on my leg. After being gone for several days, Lucky could not wait to cuddle with me. That moment of smelling him helped me decide to bring him to the groomer.

Having Lucky groomed professionally is something I have contemplated for some time. I have even emailed this particular business about the process. I explained that my dog is a sweet dog but nervous. He has never been to a professional groomer, and the only human he has tried to bite is the veterinarian when he gets his annual shots.  They assured me it would be no problem.

Lucky was excited to go for a ride. He even went into the little business with no hesitancy since he did not recognize this place as the vet. I again explained his temperament and helped him get into the kennel until it was his turn. They assured me he was in good hands. I went home with an estimated time for when I could retrieve him.

Two hours later, they called and said they could not groom him. I rushed to go pick him up. When I arrived, he was neither in the kennel nor on a leash. There was a leash on his back that was not connected because he would not let them near him. They tried getting him back in the kennel, but he attempted to bite them, and his 75-pound frame is awkward to handle when his nerves are on edge.

The moment I walked in the front door, Lucky became the happiest and most calm dog around. I connected his leash to the collar, and he sat next to me acting sweet. The groomers could not believe the change in his behavior. I took him home, and my wife and I did what the groomers could not.

What was the difference in the few minutes? He reunited with his “father.”

Maybe we should be a little more like Lucky. All the other dogs were calm and obedient, but it was strangers that were making the changes to them. To Lucky, the groomer was the enemy. Lucky would not let the enemy even come close to him.

This world has a lot to offer people. Some of it may be good while other aspects are not beneficial. We sometimes let strangers make changes to our lives. We should be careful of what or who influences our thoughts and behaviors. We cannot afford to let the enemy have his way with us.

So who should we let influence us or even make changes to our lives? The answer for me is my heavenly father. He alone can bring peace to my situation. His teaching and direction should be the source of my influence. He brings me comfort and life, while the enemy, the devil, brings turmoil. 

John 10:10 - A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance.

1 Peter 5:8 - Be sober-minded, be alert. Your adversary, the devil, is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.

Romans 12:2 - And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

The Broken Bells

My wife had a collection of bells when we got married. They were beautiful bells made of glass or porcelain. When we bought our first house, we displayed her bell collection in the living room on a shelf hanging on the wall. They remained there for a while until they were not. The reason they were not hanging there anymore was that something was on the floor below the shelf. When I stood after retrieving the object, I hit the display on one side, and all of the bells slid onto the floor. Hundreds of broken pieces intermingled with each other in a way that we could not repair any of them. We swept them up and threw the bits away. It was an unfortunate event, but accidents happen.

Sometimes things are so broken that they do not seem fixable. Situations, friendships, and marriages can get out of control. We plan and adjust, but we find no remedy. Things can happen that are not part of our plans. We look at the big picture of things and see what looks impossible deciding to throw it all away.

As I rewind things in my head, I realize there are reasons I could not fix those bells. The same reason those impossible situations get tossed aside. It is a lack of patience or willingness to try. Gathering and dividing the hundreds of pieces for each bell would take an enormous amount of time. Using the correct amount of glue on every chip and crack without making a mess takes a skill that I undoubtedly do not possess. Touching up any paint with the exact shade to bring it back to its original condition is best left to someone who knows the difference between maroon and burgundy.

To me, the task of repairing them is overwhelming. However, some people fix things that seem not to be reparable. They are extremely patient. They have steady hands. They have experience and knowledge. They are extremely expensive, as well. Someone can fix anything if they are willing to take the time. How would those bells be brought back to life as a collectible? One small piece at a time. You cannot rush the process. Just like a broken relationship, it may take years to fix, but it would be worth the effort. The problem is we do not want to take the time. It is so much easier to toss things aside regardless of the cost.

I discovered something else in my life. You cannot fix something that is not broken. No one could reassemble the pieces if they were not separated.  They could be changed, maybe even improved, but not fixed. I have never brought my car to the shop and said fix it without something being wrong.

I do not know anyone who does not have something broken in their life. People have broken minds, emotions, spirits, and bodies. We all need repair in some part of our lives. Even those that seem to have it all together have something wrong. Some hide those areas very well. We need to quit hiding those things and begin to take the time to mend them. It takes time, patience, and willingness. Sometimes healing wounds are painful, so we ignore them. We learn to live with the pain. If we just pressed through, restoration can take place.

Sometimes we do not know where to go for help. We do not know who to trust. There is only one that I can genuinely depend on and know can restore. That is God himself.  Two things I know about God: He loves you, and he can do anything. He has proved those to me over and over again. Go to him. He is willing to help if you are willing to trust him.

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

It’s nothing like the good old days.

My dishwasher decided that it no longer wanted to drain. I followed the steps that I read about to see if something was clogged. I cleaned out the tubing and filter, but the water refused to drain. Rather than fight with it any longer or replace parts that would have cost almost as much as a new dishwasher, my wife and I decided to purchase a new one.

This dishwasher came with the house that we bought eleven years ago. I do not know how old the appliance was at that time. What I do know is that people, of course, say the same thing every time something breaks. “They don’t make them like they used to.” They also don’t make them as inexpensive now.

I see a lot of posts from older folks, many of whom are my age, remembering the good old days. They show pictures of devices that today’s younger generation has not seen.  I recognize more of these devices than I care to admit.

I remember our first VCR, metal ice trays, having only five channels, and our first video game (Pong). Reminiscing about the good old days brings back some great memories.

Today is not like the good old days. We no longer have 8-track tapes. We have music that we download or stream. We seldom write checks or pay cash anymore. Most pay for their goods and services with debit or credit cards. We no longer have to defrost our freezers like we used to do.

It is fun to think about the good old days. However, we cannot live in the past. We must move forward.

The old days had their problems, as well. In 1950, the life expectancy was only 68. Today, the average American lives until 79. In 1900, only 2% of homes had electricity. Today, it is rare to hear of someone without it. The mortality rate of newborns in the U.S. dropped from 58 per 1,000 to only 6.15 per 1,000 between 1933 and 2010.

Today has problems of its own. We have tools, such as the Internet, from which we can learn many things. The problem is there is also a lot of misinformation that we tend to believe. We have social media which can be used to reunite friends, but it is often used to conquer and divide. We have hundreds of channels of television to watch, but most are not uplifting to watch.

 

Past, present, and future all have good and bad things about them.  Ecclesiastes 1:9 says, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” (NIV)

There will always be things that can bring us together. The problem is the heart gets in the way. We would rather be right than lose a fight. We would preferably rule over others than humble ourselves or encourage each other. The problem is not the technology or the changing of times. The problem we confront is and always has been a heart problem. We all look too much at ourselves but love each other too little.

The future is coming, and these will become the good old days. Let us learn from our mistakes. Let us appreciate what God has given us as well as how far he has taken us. Let us continue to grow, not just in technology, but as loving, caring, and humble people who will choose to make tomorrow even better.  

The Scars of a Warrior

I watched warriors on the screen battling out with swords and spears. The intimidating champion comes out to the battlefield with a massive scar across his face and many others across his body. The warrior made me wonder how many fighters in movies seem to have physical flaws to be intimidating.

Doing a quick internet search to find out, I came across an article published by JAMA Dermatology in 2017. The report was about the physical characteristics of movie villains.  They found that six of the top ten villains had some physical defect. Most villains had scars, warts, deep wrinkles, dark circles under the eyes, a bulbous nose, or other types of what are considered defects.

The reason this fascinated me is simple. Those characters are intimidating when confronted. Why is it so intimidating when an opponent’s physically scarred champion faces someone on the battlefield? I think the answer is simple. He survived the other attacks.

I like to read about David’s mighty men. Few of us could fathom ourselves doing the exploits of these men. Josheb-Basshebeth killed eight hundred men in one battle. When the rest of his army retreated, Eleazar stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword. The Lord gave him the victory. These men are just two examples of the warriors listed with David in 2 Samuel 23.

We like to think of our warriors as strong and undefeated. However, this is rarely the case.

Those intimidating scars did not come from winning every battle. The warrior may have won the war, but somewhere along the line, a weapon struck him or her. The physical scars remain for all to see. It reminds us of the previous, but it also tells us that we are overcomers. We did not die from the weapons used against us. We prevailed. We can look at our scars and say the Lord delivered us. We can live to fight another day.

Not all scars are physical, however. David’s mighty men probably had a few physical injuries, but no one could see most of their wounds. These men most likely met David at the Cave of Adullam mentioned in 1 Samuel 22. “In addition, every man who was desperate, in debt, or discontented rallied around him, and he became their leader. About 400 men were with him.”

Many wounds are emotional, spiritual, or mental. When you overcome these areas, like David’s mighty men, can see that you have faced a battle. They do not know what you have defeated. Only you know how each situation turned out. Emotional, spiritual, or mental scars are for your knowledge only. They should be no less a reminder to you of how you survived the battle to fight another day.

Do not look at your wounds and think you lost. Look at them and know you overcame them. The injury did not kill you. It cannot stop you from moving forward. The only thing that can stop you is you. If the enemy can get you to think you cannot win, he will. Rather than allowing this to happen, put your faith in God, who gives you the strength to carry on.

Regardless of what has injured you, live to fight another day. Be the warrior you were meant to be.

The Wonderful World of Autocorrect

I have always been a good speller. That is not something everyone can say. Being a good speller does not mean I can win a spelling bee with the children that spell words such as feuilleton, nunatak, and gesellschaft. These are some of the winners’ final words in some of the championships. To be honest, I am not even sure what those words mean or how to pronounce them.

I attribute several things to my ability to spell. School teachers still taught phonics. Phonics teaches how to identify letters when hearing them so you can read the words. We also had weekly spelling tests in school for which I would have to study.

I was also in trouble a lot at school. I am very active and loud by nature and get bored very quickly. As a result, I spent many recess periods writing the dictionary as a punishment. While I may not have stopped being active nor have quieted down, it probably has something to do with learning how to spell.

Since I grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s, we did not have spell check or auto-correct features. We had typewriters, paper, and pens. If I needed to spell something, I asked my dad. His response was always the same. “Go look it up in the dictionary.” While this never made sense to me, my phonics class helped me enough to find the word in the dictionary so I could spell it correctly.

Nowadays, everyone sends digital messages to each other. People post their thoughts on social media. However, it seems no one seems to check their spelling or grammar. Either people do not care or are just too lazy to check what they have typed. I suppose this generation relies on autocorrect to do the work for them rather than taking the time to edit their work.

There have been books written and websites devoted to the hilarious misadventures of autocorrect. People laugh at these errors in spelling as they can change the entire meaning of what is trying to be said. Some people will say it does not matter since the messages are just for fun and entertainment, but I have seen it carry over into professional emails. It only takes a minute to check your work.

While spelling and grammar may not be the most crucial aspect of life, we tend to be just as lazy or nonchalant in other areas.

We make mistakes, but we do not learn from them. We keep making the same mistakes over and over again. We expect that things will correct themselves, but how often do things get back on course if no one is steering?

Autocorrect does not work in real life. You have to make the corrections yourself. Maybe you have an issue that is hurting you professionally or socially. You are the only one that can change it, but you have to recognize the problem first.

Self-examination is important. No one is perfect. We all have flaws. We should take a step back occasionally, identify areas of our lives that need adjusting, and form a plan of action that will help guide us back on track. It is much better to do a self-correct than to have unpleasant situations do it for you.

1 Corinthians 11:28-32 Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.

One Normal Night

They're creepy, and they're kooky,

Mysterious and spooky,

They're altogether ooky,

The Addams Family.

(First verse of The Addams Family Lyrics by Vic Mizzy)

I took my wife to the local theater the other night to see The Addams Family: A New Musical Comedy. Whenever the show's reruns aired (the show went off the air the year I was born), I watched it. It quickly became one of my childhood favorite shows.

For those who are not aware, the show is about a close-knit family with macabre interests. They are not evil but are unique, as you can tell from the first verse of the song describing them. The parents, Gomez and Morticia, hold onto a passionate love for each other that rivals anything in any other production. The family is friendly and hospitable to others despite the reactions to their peculiar way of life.

In the play, there is a scene where the daughter, Wednesday, and her boyfriend, Lucas, sing a song to their parents. Since the families could not be any more different from each other, they asked the parents to act normal for one night.

Asking for one normal night poses a question. What is normal?

My family may not have macabre interests, but I can guarantee that ordinary to me is not normal for you. The statement is also accurate for you. Your standard may seem strange to me. Different ways do not mean either family is wrong. We are just different.

Even within my immediate family, normal is hard to define. My wife and I, though raised in the church, were still raised entirely differently. She finds some of the things I do baffling at times, and I wonder why she does the things she does. After a quarter of a century of marriage, we still wonder why the other person does what they do. It does not change our love for each other.

Society expects people to act normally, but who defines what normal is?

In a society where people are no longer attending church regularly, scheduling things on a Sunday has become the norm. However, my routine is to attend church whenever my work schedule allows. Lately, that has not been enough for me, though I will try to listen to online services when I can’t attend.

We pick and choose what we think normal should be and hold others up to our standards. We judge those that do not meet our usual expectations. It may not be intentional, but it happens. We may not even verbalize it, but we think it. If you ever thought, “Why would they do that?” you have judged them.

We should never judge others by their action. We do not think alike. We do not act alike. We are individuals. God created us to be in his image not in the likeness of each other.

I have certain traits that I have either inherited or learned from my dad. My siblings have the same dad but may have acquired different characteristics from him. All of my siblings have some things in common, but none of us are identical.

The same is true for everyone else in the world. It even holds for those with whom we attend church. We have the same heavenly father but have different traits.  Some may look at things from a teaching perspective while others look at things from a serving perspective. God did not create us to be like everyone else. He created everyone to be who he created them to be. He made us all unique.

So, what is normal? Whatever you usually do is normal to you. In whatever manner you typically think is normal to you. Do not hold me to your standard of normal. I won’t keep you to mine.

I always hear that diversity is a good thing. If that is the case, why do we want everyone to be like us?

Romans 14:12-13 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.

Vacation

I love vacations. I know that seems like a simple statement, but it is accurate. My wife and I do not take enough vacations. We like to travel and see new things, but most of the time our trips are to visit the grandchildren or to attend. Trust me when I say those visits are worth every moment. Though they are almost monthly, they do not seem to come around enough. However, they are not the same as vacations.

We do not plan every moment of our vacations. Some people stick to rigid schedules. That is not us. We may schedule a couple of things and wing the rest.  This time our plan was only to go south of Miami to see friends for the weekend. The rest of the trip was to see what else there was to do on the way.

We began our trip in St. Augustine, Florida. It is the oldest city in our nation. I was here for a night back in 1984, but it has certainly changed since that time. It has become much more touristy. There was so much to enjoy about this place. We visited the St. Augustine Pirate & Treasure Museum finding the story of a pirate that shares my last name. We walked through the historical Spanish fort, the Castillo de San Marcos. I especially enjoyed the tour of the Colonial Quarter which covered the 16th through the 18th century.

Miami was HOT which is not a surprise. The amount of traffic was also crazy. However, spending time with friends and visiting The Vizcaya Museum and Gardens was well worth driving the 28-hour round-trip.

The thing I enjoyed the most on our vacation was time with my wife. She is a magnificent person, which is kind of why I married her. However, between work, hobbies, and the hustle and bustle of daily living the time spent away from it all allows us just to be together.

I love spending time with my wife. It does not matter if we are doing anything or just sitting there. I love her, and I love the togetherness. While we have similarities in our likes and dislikes, there are many more ways in which we are different. Yet, we find things that we can do together. She is indeed my best friend.  The few vacations that we have allows me to experience life together without distractions.

We are all busy. Life does not slow down for anyone. Sometimes we need to get away to see what is important. Smell the roses, visit the beach, and enjoy a sunset. The beauty of this world far exceeds the ugliness on which so many people focus. We need to stop getting distracted. Focus on what is important.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

That verse does not say to think about the troubles in the world. It never mentions criticizing everyone who disagrees with you. Sometimes we need to step away and think about what we have been thinking about. Have our thoughts and words been productive?

Just like I enjoy spending time alone with my wife, God enjoys spending time with us. No matter what is going on in the world, He has time for us. We forget to spend time with God, but we must use the time we have. Get away from all of your trials and tribulations and just be with God. Give Him all of your troubles. He loves you even more than I love my wife. Sometimes she thinks she is a burden to me, but she is not. She is a great joy to be around. God feels the same way about you. You are not a burden. You are loved.