You Think You Know

“You think you know, but you just don’t know, and you never will.”

Jim Mora

The fact that so many people think they know what is happening with others amazes me. No one knows what others are thinking. I hate when watching football, a commentator sees someone on the feel and tells you what he is thinking. For all I know, he may be thinking he wants to eat pizza after the game. I am a person who prefers facts, not assumptions. This doesn’t mean that I never assume anything. I am human. We all do it. That does not make our assumptions right.

The most recent thing in the news is the Supreme Court confirmation hearings amid sexual assault charges.  This has been a circus, to say the least. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone seems to know every detail about what happened in 1982. The only thing I remember about 1982 is I changed schools. I am not talking about the parties involved. I am talking about the rest of the nation.

On one side of the equation is Brett Kavanaugh, the nominee. Nearly every conservative claims this man is squeaky clean and a perfect fit for the Supreme Court. I don’t know if he is or is not. I have never actually met the man, nor have I ever heard of him before his nomination. Claims against him suddenly appear around a possible sexual assault from 1982. His supporters say this is preposterous. Those who oppose him have demonized him. I have no feelings toward him one way or the other.

On the other hand, we have Christine Ford, the accuser. Nearly every liberal claim that she is courageous for coming out with her story and has no political agenda. I do not know if she is telling the truth or not. I have never actually met this woman, nor have I heard of her before her accusations. The timing of her claims may be suspect, but her supporters say her timing is not politically motivated. Those who oppose her said she is lying to push the democratic vote in the mid-term elections and to squash the nomination of a conservative. I have no feelings toward her one way or the other.

The one thing that I do know is no one knows except the two of them. Everyone else seems to be casting judgment based on political leanings.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.

I would like to defend both of them. I am glad that I have not been judged on my actions when I was in high school. When people are young, they make stupid mistakes. I am not saying he did or did not.  Justice in this country is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Many people listen to biased news stories and cannot see any possibility that he is not guilty. There are no facts that have been exposed, just opinions. I would like everyone to put themselves in the shoes of people who have been falsely accused. I pray no one does that to you.

On the other side, people claim that there is no reason to keep sexual assault quiet for so many years. As one who experienced sexual assault in 1981, I can say there are many reasons that people do not come forward. In fact, until the writing of this post, I had only mentioned it once to my wife for the first time just a few months ago. I do not talk about it. It does not define me. However, I can understand the people that keep quiet for so many years. Though innocent in the matter, there is shame, grief, disbelief, and even fear. Not talking about it makes it seem like it never happened. For me, I still think about it. I hope that Dr. Ford is lying. I hope she never experienced sexual assault. However, I do not know, and neither do you. I pray that you walk in her shoes if she has. I hope you never experience the trauma that goes along with this type of event.

While both people are involved in this political circus, I hope that the one who is right can forgive the one who has wronged the other. Forgiveness can bring healing, but it is a choice. I chose to forgive.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

When Did Americans start hating freedom?

When did the people in the United States start hating freedom? I thought this country fought wars so that we could be free. I thought we went to war on behalf of others so they could also be free. Yet, every time someone uses their freedom to do or say what they want, they are quickly opposed to their right to say or do it.

The problem is we want our freedom. We just do not want those with whom we disagree to have it. Addidas, Ben & Jerry’s, Chick-fil-A, The NFL, and Nike have all been part of “boycotts” in the last few years because people do not like them exercising their freedoms. Now, you have the right to boycott. I’m not taking that away from you. I just hope your liberty to express yourself is not taken away.

We seem to be self-righteous. Our way is not only better than your way. It should be the only way. It is the best way. We may not say those words, but our actions scream them.

We call others weak because they are offended. We tell others to toughen up and get over themselves. Yet, we get angry when others express a different opinion. When people say we get offended, we deny it because that places the blame on us. We say, “I’m not offended, I am just standing up for what is right.”

An offense is defined as annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles. That sums up almost everyone I have ever spoken to who says they are not offended.

I do not agree with many things people say or do. I have chosen not to boycott or break ties with them. Last time I checked, the Bible speaks many times about unity, forgiveness, and love. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. (1 Peter 3:8) How does separating ourselves from people or even companies with whom we disagree display any of those principles? Separation does not show unity. Continually criticizing others does not demonstrate forgiveness. Hoping a person is fired and never works again does not display love.

II have a Christian friend of mine who had a Muslim open a business near his church. Most people could see that there is a different perception in the way these two men would think. My friend did not have his congregation boycott the business for his beliefs. He went to the man and asked if he could pray for the man’s business to be successful.

That is how we should be. I do not have to agree with everything you believe, but I should hope and pray for your success, not your ideas, but your business and your well-being. We should desire and pray for the best to happen to people. I think many of us believe that God cares more for values rather than people, but Jesus died for the people. He told them not to sin anymore, but he gave his life because he loved the people.

Yes, I am an American, but primarily, I am a follower of Christ. I believe in unity. I think that Christians should be in full accord and of one mind. (Philippians 2:2)

However, not all Americans are Christians. That is their prerogative. We do not have to be of one mind with everyone else. Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls. (Luke 11:17). I do not want the church to fall, but I also do not want the United States to collapse. We need to put aside our differences and pray for each other to succeed. 

Hurting People Hurt People

Maybe I am alone in this, but I doubt it. If I have a bad day or even if I am just tired, I tend to snap at others that do not deserve it. Unfortunately, my wife has dealt with this far too many times. I do not want to act this way. It is something on which I have to improve.

No, nothing happened recently that is making me write this blog. No, I do not need to apologize for any recent event. Although, if I do and do not realize it, please forgive me.

When I first got married, I had a very short temper.  Small things would set me off. I would not get violent or hurt anyone physically. I did not insult anyone or call them names. I simply yelled. My outburst would be loud. Once I yelled, in my mind, it was over. I could scream one minute, and suddenly it was over, at least in my mind. I do not like things to drag out over time.

I hope that I have improved throughout my marriage. I hope that in my outbursts, no one was harmed emotionally or mentally. However, I am sure feelings were hurt if nothing else.

I am one to apologize reasonably quickly. I tend to think and overthink about how I should have responded. Yet, when something happens, and my mood is not so cheery, I can respond in the same way again. Why do I react in ways that I would rather not? I wish I knew.

We should leave all of our problems behind us when we are with others. Do not take them out on others. It is not their fault we had a bad day. Many times, our responses to others are based on what others have done to us or what we have done to ourselves. We may have been emotionally injured, but the healing does not come from hurting others.

We are not much different than an injured cat. That cute little fur ball may be the sweetest thing. It may love to play. It may entertain you.  It may even let you pet it on a good day. Yet, when a cat is injured, it can become aggressive. It may bite or scratch the ones that love it and take care of it. The problem with this response is the ones who can help mend it are hindered from helping at all.

In I Chronicles 19:1-5, King David’s men were humiliated at the hands of King Hanun because he thought they were spies seeking to overthrow the country. David recognized the hurt these men were facing and had them stay in Jericho until their shame had settled.

I wondered why he did not have them just go home to those who loved them. I think part of this was because they may respond to those out of their emotional injuries. An incorrect response after being injured could result in a loved one being hurt. This time away would give them time to reflect on why they were treated as they were. It would give them time to forgive the one who hurt them.

Hurting people can quickly and without purpose injure others. What can we do? When we are injured, take a timeout. Think about what happened and the reason behind it. Make sure to take the time required to heal. Forgive the one who hurt you and move on. Treat everyone around you with love and respect.