The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” At least, that is how the song goes. Usually, the holiday season is full of excitement and anticipation. The end of the years brings us Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. In my immediate family, it also brings three birthdays and two wedding anniversaries. This year also brought a college graduation. It is normally a great ending to the year. The season is full of good times, but it also has its issues. This year has had its share of the good, bad and ugly.

THE GOOD: Getting to celebrate anything with family is a wonderful time for me. I love my immediate family and my extended family. Not everyone can say that! We celebrate the holidays when our schedules will allow. Celebrating Christmas/Thanksgiving on a weekend before the actual holiday does not take away from the season for me. It is not about the food, the gifts, or the traveling. It is about being together.

THE BAD:  We can always find something about which to complain. While shopping, people shopping can be rude. Traffic becomes a problem. Stress can get to elevated levels. Waiting until the last minute to shop and not being able to get the one gift that would make the holiday better for someone can leave us feeling unaccomplished. We must take the bad with the good. The bad makes the good seem even better. Try to remain calm in any situation. Remember that everyone else around you are trying to accomplish the same thing as you. Treat others, as you want to be treated.

THE UGLY: This year’s Christmas week was not great.  Four days before Christmas, my dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Four days later, my stepmom had a major stroke. The holidays brought many tears. My dad was my hero. I loved him dearly. He was funny, smart, always prepared, generous and loving. He was a great man and a better dad. We cry not for the dead, but because we will miss him.

The good that comes from the ugly is that you find out that people really do care about you.

Life does not end. Death is just a part of life. Life continues. The day that my dad died, a baby was born to someone I know from work. The new baby, Claire will never replace my dad. I may never meet her. However, we will remember his life story. Her story is just beginning.

Let us continue to look to the future. Do not be stuck in the past. Celebrate what you have. Remember what matters. Focus on the good even in the ugly times.

May you all have a Happy New Year!

#FAKENEWS

First of all, I am not a big fan of hashtags, but the title above seems to be the big outcry since the 2016 Presidential election. Fake news has spread so quickly that it is out of control.

I remember a time when people did not believe everything they read, especially before the internet came. You would hear something and verify what you heard through various sources. Sources that were considered reliable back when I was a kid could be the encyclopedia, someone that had firsthand knowledge of the subject, or a newspaper article.

We also had some less reliable sources, like some of the tabloids. The Globe or the National Enquirer are read by many while waiting to checkout their groceries at the supermarket. The article headlines capture your attention sometimes seemingly unreal. Most people laugh at the articles as ridiculous while others soak up every word taking it for truth. My grandma loved the National Enquirer.

Now we have the internet which everyone is told “don’t believe everything on the internet.” Yet for some reason, many people believe everything they read on the internet. That is, unless the article goes against their ideals, then they believe it is unreal.

There are many satirical news sites, which can be read with a good laugh, but never taken seriously. We have political sites that are obviously one-sided, yet these are the ones that seem to gain the most attention. People sharing lies that are told without checking a single fact.

Whatever happened to verifying truth before sharing with others or even just believing it ourselves? There are even websites that help with exposing lies, but even some of these have demonstrated political leanings and must be taken with a grain of salt.

Now social media outlets, like Facebook, want to label pages that they consider to be unreliable as “Fake News.” While on the surface that seems like a good idea to break the chain of bad information, who decides what is not real? If a person in charge has strong political leanings, they may deem all opposing factual stories as fake news.

Responsibility must lie with the reader; sources must be checked. When you say “don’t believe everything you read” live according to your own words.

In the Bible, there were Berean Jews that listened to the Apostle Paul preach, but did not believe anything he said until they verified it themselves through studying the scriptures. (Acts 17:11) Why can’t we have the same desire to know the truth, even if it opposes our current thinking?

Over the years, I have changed my opinions on some things after verifying the facts. Facts are real. Opinions are not always correct. Perception is not always reality, though it is often said that it is. Don’t get caught believing lies. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you what is true. Seek the truth. The truth will not set you free unless you know the truth.

THE RIGHT CONSISTENCY

Even before getting married, I had taken several classes on raising children. The one thing that stuck with me over the years is that as a parent, you must be consistent. If you do not allow a certain behavior today, do not allow it tomorrow. If you are not consistent, the child becomes confused as to what is acceptable and often creates unwanted situations for the parent.

As a sports fan, I see inconsistency in some of my favorite teams. The New Orleans Saints, for example, have proven statistically that they win more often when running the ball. However, they consistently throw the ball more often. In fact, in the last two weeks they have thrown the ball 85 times and only run 28 times. Both of these games were losses.

Some businesses do things because “it has always been done that way.” You can sometimes change the way you do something while being consistent to the principles you have established over time.

Sometimes programs are no longer working yet we decide to keep them running. I heard someone once say, “If the horse you are riding dies, get off the horse.” This does not mean to fire everyone or scrap every procedure. Sometimes, it does. Sometimes, we need to make only a small change. Sometimes people are more efficient doing other tasks. Maybe there is miscommunication on the focus that needs to be resolved.  Maybe additional and updated training can help.

Not everyone is the same. Nor is every situation the same. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and ask a few questions.  Where are we now? Where do we want to go? How do we get there effectively?

We must consistently examine ourselves to make sure we are doing what works. We must consistently focus on the goal. We must remain consistent in doing the right things, the things get us there and continue to be consistent in the principles upon which you stand.

If you are doing the right things, then continue to do them. If things are consistently not working out, maybe you just need to find the right consistency.

Change is not bad unless you are changing just because everyone else is doing something different. Change what is not working but keep what is. If you want to be a leader, then do not do what everyone else is doing. Do something different or do something better.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bah Humbug and Jingle Bells

It is the most wonderful time of the year. People seem to be in a holly jolly mood. Some are dreaming of a white Christmas. Some focus on the spirit of giving with baking and shopping for loved ones. Some like the weather while building snowmen and making snow angels. (People can only dream about these in the heat where I live.) Some are planning Christmas menus to share meals with their extended families. Some are volunteering to help those less fortunate themselves. Some are decorating their homes. 

Over the years, my mood during December has swung from one extreme to the other and back to somewhere in the middle. Some years, I despised Christmas for the commercialism that starts in October; the greed of people focused more on getting than giving, and the overextension of my budget. In other years, I toss all cynicism aside and go all out on decorating the tree, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music on the radio, and focus on giving the best I can to the ones I love.

This year, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I was excited to put up my Christmas village and had it up in just a couple of hours. Then I put up the tree. The tree has been up for over a week, and I finally put lights on it yesterday. As of writing this, it still only has lights on it. My wife and I have completed most of our Christmas shopping, mostly thanks to her. I take off most of December from one job but work more hours at my second one.

I am not sure why my December moods change so frequently. To tell the truth, the reason does not matter. I love my family and my friends. I love seeing them happy and smiling. My coworkers make working during the holidays better. Like my family and friends, they can put a smile on my face.

People matter.

It is because of this that I do not want to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. It is not just the spirit of giving. Some may not believe this, but I do. The meaning is specifically about what God has given to us. He wants us to have a relationship with Him just as I want with those I love. The thing he gave us was His son, Jesus, to take care of the business that we ourselves cannot do. That business is to pay for our sins by being born into this world, dying, and resurrecting so that we may live with Him. Sin kept us away, but “if you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Christmas is about God’s love for us. Let us celebrate by returning that love to Him and to those around us.