New Glasses

I remember getting into several fights as a child. I do not recall the reasons behind most of them. Knowing me, I was probably the cause of most of them, probably said something stupid. I was a small farsighted kid. Many times, I would hand my glasses to someone to hold before throwing a punch. Other times, my parents would pick me up from school with the remnants of what used to be eyeglasses in my metal lunch kit as I shook the box so they could hear the soon to be replaced remains.

As I grew older, I went through a time where I no longer needed glasses. My eyes were changing.

As a teenager, I was driving my mom around and ran three stop signs. She questioned me as to the reason why and I simply responded with, “what stop signs?” Shortly after, my parents brought me to the optometrist. My dad pointed to a sign on the door across the waiting room, and I could not even see a sign, much less than read what it said.

I walked out with a prescription for new glasses to correct my shortsighted vision. I was amazed at what I could see. Things at a distance were now clear. I thought everyone saw things far away, as I did, fuzzy and unclear.

Just over 30 years later, my eye doctor informed me, I need bifocals. I can still read without my glasses, but with them, I read clearer.

Seeing things clearly is a wonderful thing. I no longer run stop signs. I can now see the words on a sign and not just the frame of the sign. There is nothing wrong with getting help to see things better.

I wish everyone could see clearly and not just physically.

People talk about being optimists, but some are positive only when things are going their way. Others are positive regardless of the situation. Some are always negative. None of us can be right one hundred percent of the time. Sometimes we need help to see things more clearly.

I know what I believe and why I believe it. However, I have heard differing opinions that revealed some errors in my thinking. When proven wrong, I have changed my opinion.  Being stubborn to other beliefs keeps us blind. Not being emotional or hardheaded breaks barriers and often results in a clearer vision.

Arguments never help anyone, but honest and open discussions may. You never know who may help your vision become clearer. Do not believe everyone or everything without knowing all of the facts but listen to others. It has taken me many years to listen to some, but I enjoy being able to see. My hearing has cleared some of my vision.

The Fiery Crotch

In the evenings, I work on the sales floor in a retail store. Phone calls asking for information occur regularly. Most of these callers ask if we carry a certain product or have any on hand. Not all calls are the same.

The call happened about three years ago. I was straightening the shelves in my department when a phone call came for the health care section. I answered the call since this is a portion of my area.

The caller wanted to speak to the pharmacist, but the pharmacy closed earlier. The caller decided to see if I could assist. The caller asked me what she could put on her “itching crotch”. I informed her that I was not a pharmacist nor medically trained and could not offer an opinion. I would have thought that she would have stopped there and called an open pharmacy, but she persisted.

With a sense of urgency, she said her crotch itched so badly that it was on fire. She demanded that I give her the name of something that she could use to soothe the burning. I informed her once again that the pharmacy closed and would reopen the following morning.

“You do not understand how much my crotch itches; it burns so bad I cannot take it.” Without exaggeration, she repeated these words no less than six or seven times. She finally understood that I would not offer any medical advice and told me she would call back in the morning. She informed me, “I should be okay by then, and I have my son putting Aloe Vera on it for now.”

Not much surprises me; however, this last statement caught me completely off guard. You can never be positive about the person on the other end of a call. The voice did not seem to be an elderly person. The woman sounded to be an adult younger than middle age. I immediately felt bad for the child given this task.

I thought this must have been a joke a coworker was playing on me. After telling this story a multitude of time, no one has taken credit. I must assume the call was real.

I hope this woman received comfort. I hope this did not scar the child for life.

There are people in this world that have problems. They may not be physical problems. Some of these problems are messy. Sometimes people do not have others to “rub Aloe Vera” on them.

It takes a lot of love to help someone with his or her problems. We may try to dodge assisting because we are not trained professionals, but we can do something for them even if it is just taking time to listen.

Do not be afraid to get your hands dirty. Be there for people. It takes love and compassion. Treat others, as you want to be treated. Who knows? Maybe one day you will need help with a fiery crotch type of problem.

The Heat Index

“It is not just the heat. It is the humidity.” How many times have we heard this saying? Living in the south, you hear it almost daily most of the year. The other term we hear for a short time is the wind chill factor.  A formula determines what the temperature feels like to our bodies.  The National Weather Service came up with the formula used today.

I have no idea what 95° feels like because when it is 95°, the meteorologists tell me it feels like 110°. What does 110° feel like? I have no clue because if it gets to 110°, they will tell me it feels like something else. What type of scientific nonsense is this?

I wear a t-shirt outside, and my coworker wears an overcoat on the same day. I am certain that he does not agree with how I think the temperature feels.  My body tells me whether it is hot or cold. I do not need someone else to determine if I need a coat or a pair of shorts based on the weather.

I would love to have a job that tells people how it feels today. “Your dog died, and your car broke down, but it is going to feel great today.”  However, news stations pay good money to people telling us how the weather is going to feel.  Can I not just go outside and see what it feels like me?

We also allow others to do this in other areas of our lives. People tell us how we should think. Some tell us how we should feel. Others tell us what to do. When did we stop thinking, feeling and doing for ourselves?

When my dad died, some said I should be happy because he is in a better place. I would not consider my feelings as happy. He may be better off, but I am not thrilled that I will not see or hear him again until after I am gone. Sure, I miss him and go on with my happy life, but happy that he is dead is not an option to me.

When things have gone wrong in my life, some have told me I should be angry. What good does being angry do? I choose to move on and see the better things in life. In the same manner, I have heard people say, “Get over it.” Maybe that is how you feel, but you do not feel the way I do. Some people take longer to get over things. That is all right. Let them take their time.

Often people ask me how I can go through the things I have and keep a smile on my face. The answer is simple. I choose to enjoy life. That does not mean I am always happy, but I try to let the unhappy times be short.

What I am trying to say is do not let others tell you what to do or how to feel. It is your life. Others can influence you, but you have to make the choices and live with them. Choose wisely.

FRUSTRATION AT MY OWN IGNORANCE.

I have a tendency to drive vehicles until they leave me stranded and repairs would cost more than the car. I have sold many cars and trucks to scrap yards. When they get to a certain point, I drop all of the insurance except for liability.

My last vehicle was a 2005 Nissan Murano with just over 230,000 miles on it. On Tuesday, it decided that it had enough of me. I had it towed to my usual repair shop after they had already closed.

On Wednesday, the shop called and informed me that it was time to pull the plug on its life support because the cost of the new CVT transmission would “out value” the car. Before the day was over, I drove off a car lot with my new vehicle with only 23,000 miles on it. I am excited about the new car, but not about having to pay a car note again.

On Thursday morning, I called the insurance company to swap the insurance over from the Murano. The agent asked me if I wanted the same amount of coverage. I thought that was an odd question since I only held liability insurance. She informed me that I had full coverage on the Murano. I questioned her since I know that I dropped all but liability. After further review, I had never dropped the coverage on this vehicle. How did I not know I was fully covered?

Several years ago, someone cut me off on the interstate and then slammed on his brakes. I swerved to miss him and ended up with a blowout. It caused me to spin across three lanes of traffic hit the guardrail and spin me in the other direction until I sat facing oncoming traffic. The car that cut me off continued on its route.

I had a big dent in the rear bumper with obvious damage to its support and the transaxle broke along with a few other things. The tow truck brought my Murano to a shop, and I had the shop fix only what would make the vehicle road worthy. Any repairs of the cosmetic damage, like the bumper, I put on hold since I had to pay for the repairs out of pocket. This of course was because I THOUGHT I only had liability.

It pays to know. I drove about four years with a dented bumper and spent much more on repairs than had I paid the deductible.  How frustrating to know my ignorance cost me so much?

Many times in life, we think we know things, but sometimes we think incorrectly. We should verify what we know and believe. The older I get, the harder it is to remember certain details.  I cannot take things for granted. I need to continue to learn and review. I want to know not only what I believe but also why I believe it. Maybe we all can learn a lesson and review so that forgetting or being ignorant will not cost us more than it should. The cost can be more than money. It can be stress, undue hardships or worse.

People say the truth will set you free, but you must know what the truth is for it to do its job. 

New Year Excitement

Every year, people take this time of the year to remember the things that have transpired in the previous year. The media published top ten lists that friends can debate. Rarely are everyone’s lists the same. My top ten movies are probably not the same as yours.

Every year there has its successes and failures. Last year, I lost 40 pounds from May to November, but in the last 2 months, I have seen an increase in 14 pounds. In sports, my New Orleans Saints looked bad, then really good, then bad again.

Good or bad, we do not live in last year. We live in the present year. Every year starts with celebrations. While the past year has people and events we miss, the New Year offers us a new hope and a fresh start.

It is up to us how we proceed. Many will dwell on the past. They will tell others of their great achievements. Others will recall their losses or failures. Remembering the past is one thing, but living in the past is another.

I chose to move forward.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring. I do not know how this year will compare to last year or to the following year. The excitement of the New Year is like opening a gift. You are not sure if you get what you really wanted or a set of ugly pictures that have be re-gifted year after year. Only time will tell.

I want to live as though this year will be the best ever. I want to live life as if this were my last one on earth. I want to make new friendships that will last for years to come. I want my family to grow through marriage and births. I want those around me to be able to laugh and enjoy life with me.

These are not resolutions. These are my hopes. Some may want more money, better jobs, or better health.

Of course, I want those things, as well, but I really just want to make the people around me happy. I love smiling faces. Laughter is the best medicine.

The New Year offers no guarantees. Some things that will happen will be out of our control. How we respond to things is completely in our control. If you fail, get up, learn from what went wrong, and try again or move on to something else. If you succeed, continue or move on to the next thing. Even better, help someone else to succeed.

This year, I hope people quit complaining and start telling jokes. I hope people will stop the practice of destructive-criticism and offer practical advice and encouragement. I hope the many divisions of people can move past the hurts and come together in unity.

Accomplishing these things start with us. I hope I will be the person to start the change in the New Year. I can only affect those around me. It takes more than just me. It takes a bunch of individuals to decide for themselves how they will affect positive change.

Be positive. Be helpful. Be the change.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” At least, that is how the song goes. Usually, the holiday season is full of excitement and anticipation. The end of the years brings us Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. In my immediate family, it also brings three birthdays and two wedding anniversaries. This year also brought a college graduation. It is normally a great ending to the year. The season is full of good times, but it also has its issues. This year has had its share of the good, bad and ugly.

THE GOOD: Getting to celebrate anything with family is a wonderful time for me. I love my immediate family and my extended family. Not everyone can say that! We celebrate the holidays when our schedules will allow. Celebrating Christmas/Thanksgiving on a weekend before the actual holiday does not take away from the season for me. It is not about the food, the gifts, or the traveling. It is about being together.

THE BAD:  We can always find something about which to complain. While shopping, people shopping can be rude. Traffic becomes a problem. Stress can get to elevated levels. Waiting until the last minute to shop and not being able to get the one gift that would make the holiday better for someone can leave us feeling unaccomplished. We must take the bad with the good. The bad makes the good seem even better. Try to remain calm in any situation. Remember that everyone else around you are trying to accomplish the same thing as you. Treat others, as you want to be treated.

THE UGLY: This year’s Christmas week was not great.  Four days before Christmas, my dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Four days later, my stepmom had a major stroke. The holidays brought many tears. My dad was my hero. I loved him dearly. He was funny, smart, always prepared, generous and loving. He was a great man and a better dad. We cry not for the dead, but because we will miss him.

The good that comes from the ugly is that you find out that people really do care about you.

Life does not end. Death is just a part of life. Life continues. The day that my dad died, a baby was born to someone I know from work. The new baby, Claire will never replace my dad. I may never meet her. However, we will remember his life story. Her story is just beginning.

Let us continue to look to the future. Do not be stuck in the past. Celebrate what you have. Remember what matters. Focus on the good even in the ugly times.

May you all have a Happy New Year!

#FAKENEWS

First of all, I am not a big fan of hashtags, but the title above seems to be the big outcry since the 2016 Presidential election. Fake news has spread so quickly that it is out of control.

I remember a time when people did not believe everything they read, especially before the internet came. You would hear something and verify what you heard through various sources. Sources that were considered reliable back when I was a kid could be the encyclopedia, someone that had firsthand knowledge of the subject, or a newspaper article.

We also had some less reliable sources, like some of the tabloids. The Globe or the National Enquirer are read by many while waiting to checkout their groceries at the supermarket. The article headlines capture your attention sometimes seemingly unreal. Most people laugh at the articles as ridiculous while others soak up every word taking it for truth. My grandma loved the National Enquirer.

Now we have the internet which everyone is told “don’t believe everything on the internet.” Yet for some reason, many people believe everything they read on the internet. That is, unless the article goes against their ideals, then they believe it is unreal.

There are many satirical news sites, which can be read with a good laugh, but never taken seriously. We have political sites that are obviously one-sided, yet these are the ones that seem to gain the most attention. People sharing lies that are told without checking a single fact.

Whatever happened to verifying truth before sharing with others or even just believing it ourselves? There are even websites that help with exposing lies, but even some of these have demonstrated political leanings and must be taken with a grain of salt.

Now social media outlets, like Facebook, want to label pages that they consider to be unreliable as “Fake News.” While on the surface that seems like a good idea to break the chain of bad information, who decides what is not real? If a person in charge has strong political leanings, they may deem all opposing factual stories as fake news.

Responsibility must lie with the reader; sources must be checked. When you say “don’t believe everything you read” live according to your own words.

In the Bible, there were Berean Jews that listened to the Apostle Paul preach, but did not believe anything he said until they verified it themselves through studying the scriptures. (Acts 17:11) Why can’t we have the same desire to know the truth, even if it opposes our current thinking?

Over the years, I have changed my opinions on some things after verifying the facts. Facts are real. Opinions are not always correct. Perception is not always reality, though it is often said that it is. Don’t get caught believing lies. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you what is true. Seek the truth. The truth will not set you free unless you know the truth.

THE RIGHT CONSISTENCY

Even before getting married, I had taken several classes on raising children. The one thing that stuck with me over the years is that as a parent, you must be consistent. If you do not allow a certain behavior today, do not allow it tomorrow. If you are not consistent, the child becomes confused as to what is acceptable and often creates unwanted situations for the parent.

As a sports fan, I see inconsistency in some of my favorite teams. The New Orleans Saints, for example, have proven statistically that they win more often when running the ball. However, they consistently throw the ball more often. In fact, in the last two weeks they have thrown the ball 85 times and only run 28 times. Both of these games were losses.

Some businesses do things because “it has always been done that way.” You can sometimes change the way you do something while being consistent to the principles you have established over time.

Sometimes programs are no longer working yet we decide to keep them running. I heard someone once say, “If the horse you are riding dies, get off the horse.” This does not mean to fire everyone or scrap every procedure. Sometimes, it does. Sometimes, we need to make only a small change. Sometimes people are more efficient doing other tasks. Maybe there is miscommunication on the focus that needs to be resolved.  Maybe additional and updated training can help.

Not everyone is the same. Nor is every situation the same. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and ask a few questions.  Where are we now? Where do we want to go? How do we get there effectively?

We must consistently examine ourselves to make sure we are doing what works. We must consistently focus on the goal. We must remain consistent in doing the right things, the things get us there and continue to be consistent in the principles upon which you stand.

If you are doing the right things, then continue to do them. If things are consistently not working out, maybe you just need to find the right consistency.

Change is not bad unless you are changing just because everyone else is doing something different. Change what is not working but keep what is. If you want to be a leader, then do not do what everyone else is doing. Do something different or do something better.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bah Humbug and Jingle Bells

It is the most wonderful time of the year. People seem to be in a holly jolly mood. Some are dreaming of a white Christmas. Some focus on the spirit of giving with baking and shopping for loved ones. Some like the weather while building snowmen and making snow angels. (People can only dream about these in the heat where I live.) Some are planning Christmas menus to share meals with their extended families. Some are volunteering to help those less fortunate themselves. Some are decorating their homes. 

Over the years, my mood during December has swung from one extreme to the other and back to somewhere in the middle. Some years, I despised Christmas for the commercialism that starts in October; the greed of people focused more on getting than giving, and the overextension of my budget. In other years, I toss all cynicism aside and go all out on decorating the tree, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music on the radio, and focus on giving the best I can to the ones I love.

This year, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I was excited to put up my Christmas village and had it up in just a couple of hours. Then I put up the tree. The tree has been up for over a week, and I finally put lights on it yesterday. As of writing this, it still only has lights on it. My wife and I have completed most of our Christmas shopping, mostly thanks to her. I take off most of December from one job but work more hours at my second one.

I am not sure why my December moods change so frequently. To tell the truth, the reason does not matter. I love my family and my friends. I love seeing them happy and smiling. My coworkers make working during the holidays better. Like my family and friends, they can put a smile on my face.

People matter.

It is because of this that I do not want to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. It is not just the spirit of giving. Some may not believe this, but I do. The meaning is specifically about what God has given to us. He wants us to have a relationship with Him just as I want with those I love. The thing he gave us was His son, Jesus, to take care of the business that we ourselves cannot do. That business is to pay for our sins by being born into this world, dying, and resurrecting so that we may live with Him. Sin kept us away, but “if you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Christmas is about God’s love for us. Let us celebrate by returning that love to Him and to those around us. 

BLACK THANKSGIVING

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. It is a time to get together with family and enjoy a delicious meal together. I love eating the turkey, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and many more things. Most of the time, the men would wash the dishes. I believe this was to express their appreciation for the meals the women had prepared (at least that is my recollection.) Living in the south, the weather normally allowed us to play outside in shorts. I even remembered playing volleyball with some of the older family members.

Thanksgiving is a day when we should think about all the things for which we are thankful. Some are thankful for family. Some are thankful for their health or their jobs. Some are thankful that they have enough to feed themselves and maybe a few others.

Some people even spend time on Thanksgiving helping to feed others. I remember years ago separating food baskets by areas and including maps so that willing drivers could bring them to those in need.

Following Thanksgiving is Black Friday. It is a day when many retailers have big sales and millions of people shopping for the perfect deal. I do not recall ever participating in Black Friday; though it is possible, my parents left home me to play. I probably got the better end of that deal.

Black Friday got its name in the 1950’s in Philadelphia because of shoppers and tourists flooded the city prior to the night’s Army-Navy game held annually on that Friday. Police would not be able to take off and would work extended hours to try to control the crowds and the traffic. In the late 1980’s Black Friday was reinvented by retailers to make it appear more positive, and it has become more widespread over our nation. It is supposedly the day when stores finally make a profit.

Slowly, but surely, retailers have let greed creep into the holiday. No longer does Black Friday happen on Friday. It begins on Thanksgiving (Thursday). What once used to be a holiday of thanks turns quickly into a day many retail-workers dread. Some never get to see their families on this day.

One thing that I am thankful for is the retail job that I have.  It is a second job, but it helps me to pay the bills, and I enjoy many of the people with which I work and the experience of Black Friday itself.

I understand that first responders and utility workers (my other job) have to work on holidays in case of emergencies. However, I would love to see retail workers that are not saving anyone’s life be able to celebrate the full national holiday of Thanksgiving to be with family. Even if the stores opened at midnight, the employees could enjoy a non-rushed Thanksgiving meal with the ones they love.

I have much for which I am thankful. I am now fifty years old. This has been my fourth Black Friday to work. I do not shop on these days, but I am thankful for the ones that take a moment to thank me for being there so they can save money. I wish everyone showed appreciation rather than treating others like you owe them.

Remember when you shop this year to enjoy the moment, but also to treat everyone with kindness.

When America Will Succeed

Today my wife and I celebrate our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary. I love my wife. I am incomplete without her. We balance each other out quite well.

Over the years, we have been through a lot together. We have seen our house destroyed by hurricane and flood. We have experienced hardships. We have endured arguments and disagreements. We have outlasted illness.

We have very little in common in our likes and dislikes. Our tastes in movies and music are quite different. We approach things in different ways. We do have a few things we have in common. We love God, family, and our time together. There are a few more things, but overall, we are quite the opposite of each other. People say that birds of a feather flock together, but they also say opposites attract. We fit in the latter group.

Overall, our marriage is a success.

America just had one of the most divisive elections in our country’s history. Rather than cover issues, we saw personal attacks most of the time. Personal attacks are not new to our political world, but this election appeared over-the-top in our modern era.

Scandals, lies, misinformation and personal attacks on character came from everywhere. Not only did candidates participate in this ridiculous election, but voters did also, as well. Social media bashing attacked not just candidates but their supporters. Friends lost friends. People did not hold back their intolerance for opposing views. America became increasingly fragmented over the course of the election.

So now the election is over. One candidate won making some proclaim America will be saved. Others cry that we are doomed. This happens every four years. We made it through every previous president whether good or bad. We will survive through this one, regardless of what happens.

One thing that I know is communication in marriage is important. If you disagree, it is okay to say so. Expressing your opinion or concerns is important so that the other person understands where you stand. Attacking the other is unacceptable and creates bitterness and conflict. Compromises must be made. Marriage is not about just the husband or just the wife. It is about both working together for the betterment of the marriage.

My wife and I compromise quite often, but not our principles. It starts off with simple things like going to bring her to get sushi. (Yuck). She will go to see a movie for me with an incredible amount of blood shed, though she watches with her eyes closed.

Doing things to help each other is part of what makes our marriage a success. The little things matter, sometimes more than the big things.

Partisan politics needs to end. If we want America to succeed, we need to understand other views. We don’t need to agree with them, but we cannot ignore them either. Everyone in this country matters. We need to work with the other side of the aisle and do the things that will help everyone as a whole.

If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. As a nation, we are better together. Diversity, not just of culture but also of ideas, makes us great as long as we stand united. We need to work together and move forward. Like marriage, we can overcome a lot if we quit focusing on just ourselves.

A GLASS HALF FULL

I am a natural born skeptic. I do not believe everything people tell me. People quote fiction as if it were fact. I do not believe what I believe blindly. I research and study, sometimes a little sometime a great deal. When proven wrong, I have changed my beliefs based on facts and research.

I also like to look at things from an open point of view. I will debate a point, even if I agree with you, to see if I you can strengthen my viewpoint or to see a weakness in my opinion. (This drives my wife crazy.)

My outlooks are often different from those around me. Those who think they know me would often be surprised. However, I am not bashful about my beliefs. If you want to know, ask.

This week has been a demonstration of reactions to things that have happened in this world. Election results stirred protests, riots and a call for rule changes by those that do not like the outcome. NFL Football games brought the question on the radio, “should this rule be changed?” Racism has again brought the worst in people from more than one culture.

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Some people will see everything happening in a pessimistic way. To me, the glass is half-full.

I am not blind to the things that are happening. I also do not think the world is doomed. The world may have some negative things in it. It also has some wonderful things taking place.

Approximately 75,000 people were born in the United States last week.  Some will question kind of world awaits them. I prefer to think that many of these will be great success stories and others may bring something positive to this world.

Some people complain about how much money actors and musicians make or with what kind of role models they are.  I prefer to look at what some do with their fame.  Last week, Metallica collected nine tons of food for malnourished children In Colombia.

Some people dwell on the problem of sickness and disease, while a 12-year-old boy learned to sew and has made about 800 teddy bears to give to the sick children in the Royal Hobart Hospital in Australia to bring Joy.

Sure, there are many messed up things in the world. You alone control how you think and what you believe. What will be your mindset? Will you complain about everything? Will you lose hope? Do not dwell on negativity. Be part of a positive solution. You cannot do everything, but you can add something positive to someone’s life or to the world in general.

Do not ignore the facts but look at them is a positive way. You may even begin to see the half-filled glass as an opportunity. Life is great if you make it that way. It all begins with your attitude. 

Random Birthday Thoughts

This Thursday, November 10, I get to celebrate my fiftieth birthday. I love my birthdays. People will say I am getting older, but to me age does not matter. After all, it is only half a century. (If you made fifty before I did, I will probably call you old.”  I love this quote, “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”

People fear birthdays especially the big ones. Age, however, is just a number. I know people much younger than me that are in much worse shape than me. I also know others much older than me that are in much better shape.  Sometimes my mind and my body are not in agreement with what I can do, but life continues and I make adjustments.

I was celebrating my third birthday on the day Sesame Street had their debut. I loved growing up watching the adventures of Grover, Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch. Now I get to watch my G-Baby enjoy watching Elmo.

It is nice to have some things remain the same. It is also nice to have some things change. 

Since I was born, many inventions have helped us live differently if not better. The ATM helped me many times when needing cash after hours.  Cell phones make it easier to keep in touch. GPS tries to get me to the right location. The internet has granted us access to more information than we ever thought possible. Some of it is reliable. Fax machines, DVDs, and MRIs, video game, and even Post-It-Notes, have changed our way of life. I have learned that things can be fun or important, but people are more important. Let us get our priorities in proper perspective.

I have seen friends come, and I have seen friends go. I have seen people change for the better and some for the worse. Keep in touch with your friends and make new ones. I have had friends in their seventies and now have friends in their early twenties. Do not let age be a barrier to who you have in your circle. Everyone has something to offer. Add something positive to you friends.

Things do not always go according to plan. As I get older, I have learned to improvise, adapt, and overcome. This is a mantra sometimes used by the Marine Corps, with which I share my birthday. They, of course, were established a mere 241 years before I was. No, I was never a Marine, but I am thankful we have them.

I have been to many funerals over the years. They are sad events. As I get older, I have thought about what I want at my funeral. I want people to laugh. I want them to enjoy themselves as they remember me. I want a pizza buffet and an ice cream sundae buffet for people to enjoy. My wife drew the line when I said I wanted a clown. Maybe that would be a bit much.

My message for you today: Life is too short. Enjoy it while you can. Make a difference. Keep priorities straight.

TRUTH OR DARE

Some people enjoy games, such as truth or dare. Some do not mind answering questions like “What is your biggest fear in a relationship?” Others love the adventurous nature of the “dare” side of the game, like calling up your crush and declaring your love for him/her.

I am not a fan of this game. The reason is simple. I do not trust people enough to let the warped minds of others dictate what I do. My mind can come up with enough things for me to do to get into trouble.

As far as truth is concerned, if you were worried about letting your skeletons out of the closet, you are probably not playing the game. Everyone has their secrets, and no game will force them to tell you.  

I try to tell the truth all of the time. My life is an open book. If you want to know something, ask. My wife does not always like this part of my personality. She has to be certain to remind me, “This is not for public knowledge.”

I seem to have a reputation for being honest. I remember a time when I saw a young woman I know walking out of a building with her husband. She spotted me and told her husband to wait just a moment. She came all the way across the room and asked me what I thought of her hair. I told her my opinion and then asked why she walked away from her husband just to ask me that question. Her response was that I was the only one she knew that would really tell her the truth. I thought this was a sad commentary on the people around us.

What ever happened to honesty?

All I see on social media is lies told in memes, “news stories”, and in people’s comments. It seems that people do not want the truth. They only want to believe their point of view regardless of facts. They believe all sorts of incorrect reporting but disregard the truth if it goes against what they want to believe.

Most people claiming to be open-minded are extremely close-minded unless you agree with them. No one likes to be wrong, but sometimes we are. When truth comes out against our point of view, should we not change our point of view? This depends on the source of the “truth.” Some of our sacred “credible” sources are just biased. Adding opinions and interpretations to facts can distort the truth.

People say,” do not believe everything you read (or hear).” Jokes are sarcastically told like “it was on the internet, it must be true.” Yet, people still believe every picture with added words that someone made up on the internet and every article written that coincides with their belief system.

We need to check our sources. We need to seek truth. We need to be more open-minded to the confirmed facts. Differing opinions are not always wrong. Practice telling the truth, but do so in a loving way.

I say all this, but the truth remains, “this is America (or whatever country in which you are living). You have the right to be wrong.”

TANTRUM IN A HUGE PUMPKIN

I had the pleasure of watching my 21-month-old granddaughter for four and a half days. What a great week it turned out to be. Her G-Pop and Gigi kept G-Baby busy most of the time. We took trips to the store, to restaurants, to playgrounds and to Storyland in New Orleans City Park.

She is quite an independent girl with no fear and an adventuresome spirit. She is a tough little girl. As we went through Storyland, she was mesmerized by the fountains. She loves water. She enjoyed the big dragon slide that she and her G-Pop slide down. As we stood in the mouth of Pinocchio’s whale, she gave me a high five ad a big smile.

Even though the older boy in front of her screamed in terror at the sight of the Big Bad Wolf, G-Baby scoffed knowing there was nothing to fear.  She was enjoying walking around the inside of Cinderella’s pumpkin carriage when she had a short temper tantrum because she did not want to get out and move on to the next nursery rhyme scene. When she realized we were not concerned about her tantrum she stopped and got out. If you are going to throw a tantrum, you may as well do it in a huge pumpkin. It adds a little flair, but it is only good if someone pays attention.

Unfortunately, we often do the same thing as adults. We do not get our way and decide to throw a tantrum. We may not lay on our backs and fake cry, but we have different ways of handling things. We may refuse to change even to our detriment, causing us to fall behind. We may even go with the flow outwardly but hold bitterness inside. Throwing a pity party seems like a good idea until you realize no one cares about your pity. Not getting our way is never easy, but sometimes it really is for the best.

One of the things that G-Pop and G-Baby enjoyed doing together was just taking a walk around the block. She would hold my hand as we walked. Where I went, she went. Occasionally, she would release my hand and venture out. That bright yellow car was very pretty and she would check it out with or without G-Pop. G-Pop just let her go but watched her carefully and from nearby to make sure she was safe

She would eventually grab my hand again. Soon afterward, a five to ten pound puppy came up and jumped on her wanting to lick her pretty, little face.  She did not let go of my hand, and she was happy to see and pet the puppy. It distracted her from our walk, but only for a moment, and we began to finish our short journey.

I suddenly thought that this is what it must be like for God. He wants to walk with us. He wants to hold our hand. Sometimes we let go and do our own thing and wonder why we got into trouble. Other times we stay close to him, but we allow things that come upon us to take our eyes off where we are going.

God does not force us to go his way. He does not make us hold his hand. He lets us choose our direction. Just as G-Pop did for G-Baby, his hand is always there to grab. God never leaves our side. He just watches us with love waiting patiently for us to continue together.

DETAILS MATTER

During a recent annual health screening, the nurse at all four stations asked me my name and date of birth for identification purposes. While it did not bother me, I quietly wondered if this detail was necessary since I only walked about ten feet from the previous location. Did they think my answer would change?

I went to the hospital for a complete physical and the same thing happened. Answering the same questions repeatedly can be annoying, but it also has its purpose.

Today I heard a story on the radio about a man having surgery to remove a kidney. The problem is they removed it from the wrong man. They hospital failed to follow protocol. They asked for the name of the patient but not the date of birth. The two patients shared the same name but were several years apart in age.

I suppose the man missing his healthy kidney removed would have preferred to answer one more repetitive question.

I see people take shortcuts or avoid certain details in their jobs. They do not understand the reason for some of the details. They would prefer to finish the task quicker hoping to accomplish more, but at what cost?

Even in writing and texting, people leave out important details that can change the meaning of the whole statement. “Do not forget to eat young children” is much scarier than “Do not forget to eat, young children.” One is a crime, and the other could be a healthy reminder.

Details can save lives or make things last longer. Routinely changing oil in your car and ensuring proper inflation of tires can extend the life of the vehicle. Taking 2 seconds to put on your seatbelt can save your life.

I have seen job details removed from procedures because no one knew or understood their purpose only to find out by some problem showing up years later.  Some of these problems required those details to be reinstated but would also mean that years of neglect made for redoing jobs that had been completed in the past. This cost workhours and a lot of money.

Even in our personal lives, details can make a difference. Details such as saying thank you, listening, or opening a door for someone can make someone feel appreciated and change the outlook of their day.

Paying attention to details may not sound glorious, but it can make a significant difference in the outcome.

HOPE DEFERRED MAKES THE HEART SICK

Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Hope is a wonderful thing. We hope for the best. We hope for a brighter tomorrow. We hope to feel better. There are many things for which to have hope. However, sometimes the things we hope for do not come when we would like them.

Friday morning, my son went to have a procedure performed that hopefully would relieve his pain. He came out of that appointment frustrated and disappointed. It turns out this was not the procedure but a consultation about having the procedure. Hope was not lost but delayed. A little over an hour later he received a call saying they could do the procedure that afternoon.

Just because things do not go as you want them does not mean they are not going to happen.

This happened with a job I applied for years ago. I interviewed for four separate openings for the same position with the same supervisor. Each opening was only several months apart from each other. Each time, they told me they gave the job to someone else because of some political connection. I was already performing the job as a contractor under this supervisor’s oversight. Each time I saw an unqualified person hired; it caused a sick feeling in my heart. I had a choice. Continue to have hope or give up and seek another opportunity.

I chose to continue to keep a positive attitude. I chose to continue to do my job in the best way positive. I chose to keep the hope alive.

When another interview for the same position and the same supervisor presented itself, the results were a little surprising. The “higher-ups” wanted them to hire someone with more connections again. This was not the surprising part. The supervisor told me because I kept up my work and specifically my attitude, he would fight to get me on and not hire anyone else until they let him. The process took a few months, but he and I both prevailed.

There are many times in my life when I saw hopes and dreams deferred. Sometimes my actions caused the postponement of the things for which I hoped.  Sometimes the reasons were out of my control. I can learn from my past mistakes. I can learn not to let things outside of my control define how I respond. Disappointments will arise, but my hope will continue.

Do not let disappointment steal your hope.